I'm so scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
I'm so scared
20
Fri, 01-26-2007 - 12:57am

As I write this I beg for help but I don't know how anyone can help. I haven't posted in a while as I have been so busy with uni work and trying to get a doctors appointment. I have now been to the Doctor's and they have prescribed me Dosulepin to be taken at night time. I have not taken them yet as I have been having to stay up to meet deadlines for uni work. I am frightened about taking them due to my fear of dying that they could harm me and I won't wake up. I have had an awful night, it makes it all so much worse as I thought I was getting better but now I'm unsure if I have ever been this bad. I have tried going to bed about 3 times tonight but I have started to convince nyself that if I sleep I will die that I am letting go of life. I try so hard to stop myself from thinking these things but I am actually starting to believe them. I'm scared I will die or I'm starting to hear voices and am going insane. I am having a fight with voices in my head and fighting for my life. I am so dizzy and I feel empty inside like I am about to die from being so weak. I have no idea what to to, I am in a desperate situation. I can't wake up my boyfriend he looks so peaceful sleeping. I'm sorry to be such a pain.

All my love x

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 9:06pm

welcome.gifHi! Nice to see you;) Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's so helpful & appreciated by everyone. Good luck & GBU! (((hugs))) jan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 9:09pm
Hello - thanks for the warm welcome. I love reading the boards and seeing how great it is to find support and give it also.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 5:28pm
Hi there thank you for your message it was very understanding :) I have overall been better but not tonight as I am alone and feeling unwell I'm starting to panic terribly I feel awful and absolutely petrified. It would be nice to be able for me to post some happy things on here I promise to try from now on x
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:19pm
I'm so sorry you are scared - I know the feeling. You feel as though nothing can comfort you and feel so alone. Are you on meds? I found that being on meds regularly plus counseling can help greatly. I've also bought books on the subject as well. Is there someone you can call and talk to right now?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 7:29pm
I have taken some meds and am starting to feel ok and also my mum just won nearly £2000 on the lotto so I am all excited, that cheered me up no end. Thank you for sympathizing. How long did it take for your medication to start working properly? Thank you so much x
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 9:38pm

I started taking Prozac about 10 yrs ago. I did go off of it for awhile, but started having panick attacks when under a lot of stress, so decided I needed to be on it permanently.
Anxiety, depression and alcoholism run in my family. I also occasionaly take Xanax for panic. The anti depressants typically take about 4 weeks until you feel the full affects, so it's important to take it every day. Report any side affects to your Dr. so he/she can adjust the dosage or change the brand. The way I see it, taking meds for this is like a diabetic needing insulin - don't feel bad about it. A lot of people are on them.

Managing your panick/depression is imporant, and of course talking to others that understand.
Do you mind me asking how old you are? I am 43, been married to my hubby for 21 yrs and live in the US. Look forward to hearing from you again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 6:24pm
Ok well lets see how I am in a few weeks time, the meds may be taking the form of a placebo for me right now as I feel better not long after taking one which I know can't actually happen. But hey that's no bad thing :) I am 23 years old and live in London, I have some family that live in the US and haven't been for so long :( Well done I think you've been very brave to do so well with your medication and found what is right for you to help live a normal life. I wish you all the best, thank you for the advice it really does help!
x
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 6:43pm

I have felt what you are feeling....I'm going to die if I let myself fall asleep....I'm going to go crazy and everyone will forget about me.....

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GO CRAZY
You simply are not. Repeat that to yourself.

People who are crazy do not KNOW they are crazy. That's one of our bodies' ways of protecting us. Also, we have no control over our death, but the likelihood of you dyingn in your sleep is slim to none. That's just a fact. Nothing is ever 100%, but you must use rational thought. When irrational thoughts pop into your head, simply tell yourself "I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE". If the urge pushes you furthur, discipline it like a pushy child..."I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE." Train that voice in your head like a puppy dog. It is a creature of habit. If everytime it bites, you pick it up and indulge it...then it knows how to get your attention. If you train it not to mess with you, if you become the OWNER of that dog, then YOU are in CONTROL.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you would like me to give you some relaxation techniques to assist you in falling asleep.

Sincerely,
carpediem44

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 4:14am
This is a new technique that I will definitely try on my next panic, I know theses thoughts are irrational but when I start I can not stop it's a vicious circle indeed, however now I have a new way to try and ease the panic. Thank you so much I will let you know how it goes.
All the best! x
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2006
Fri, 02-09-2007 - 1:57pm
You hit the nail on the head, it is a cycle. ANXIETY>>>FEAR>>>>PANIC and it doesn't stop until you cut out the middle man (a.k.a. FEAR). Let me know how it goes for you. I'm here if you need support.

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