I hate admitting that I have a problem
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| Fri, 02-02-2007 - 7:01am |
Sorry in advance if this is long...
I'll shorten this as best as I can. Basically I suffer from some sort of anxiety issue. I have not talked to my doctor or anyone else about it, I have just started figuring all this out on my own. I've always known I was kind of shy, and when in the center of attention I would sweat and my face would be red and I'd be very uncomfortable.
My mom died 2 and a half years ago. I quit my job because I stopped caring. I haven't worked much since. I graduated University and went to Teacher's college, and just got on the supply list in November. I can barely bring myself to go most days. I cancel my shifts or just don't answer my phone. My anxiety has gotten worse. It's so bad lately. I feel sick, I shake, my heart goes crazy, and I know that I could screw up my career but when I'm having this anxiety, nothing matters except getting rid of it.
Anytime I leave my house, I hurry to finish whatever I need to do so I can get home. I always thought that I just did things in a hurry but lately I"ve been noticing that leaving my house gives me a lot of anxiety. I guess this has always been the case but I've just been discovering and understanding it. Some days I dont' leave my house. Something like going to the mall for 10 minutes gives me anxiety. I think with working, the thought of being away from home for an extended period of time gives me a ton of anxiety, and I can't deal with it.
I have lost friends over this. We make plans and when the time comes to going out, I get anxiety and cancel. It's even happened playing sports, which is something I love. Some days I just don't want to leave my house and face anyone. I don't know if this is agorophobia or more social phobia.
Anyways I'm so tired of this. I want to live my life and I can't. I won't go on medication if I don't have to, which I don't believe I do. I don't want to tell anyone I know, but I'm feeling like I should tell my husband soon. He always comments on how anxious I am over silly things, and I have never understood how he NEVER feels anxiety. I guess it's only recently that I've been seeing mine is greater than normal.
Sorry for this rant. I'm really upset because I just cancelled yet another shift. I hate this and feel like it's starting to take over my life. I have been feeling a bit depressed by this now, as I feel I have no control. I'd appreciate to hear from others that are going through this, I feel like a huge freak!
Thanks for listening if you made it this far

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Hello! Welcome:) I am sorry to hear about this distressing situation. You are NOT alone. Many of us with anxiety power through our visits away from home, to get back to our safe place ASAP. Not going to work must be a real problem for you. Financial stress must make you feel even worse.
The good news is that there's hope & help out there. Seeing your dr. is the first step to get a confirmed diagnosis & to rule out any medical conditions that might be contributing to your anxiety. Research has shown that meds in combination with therapy is most successful. You are not the first person to be reluctant to take meds. It doesn't mean you have to take them forever or that you're crazy by seeing a counselor. You need some help to get you to a point where you can cope with day-to-day situations. If you think you can do it without meds, my question is, *why aren't you better?* I don't want to sound like a pill pusher, so I will tell you that there are alternatives out there. Hypnosis, accupuncture, massage therapy, yoga, meditation, natropaths, etc. can be used if you're highly motivated & will take the time to learn these techniques.
I am very sorry to hear about your mom. We all grieve in our own way & in our own time. Is it possible that you still haven't come to grips with her death & may be suffering from depression> Anxiety & depression go hand in hand. The meds & treatment are the same. I hope that you'll reach out to some *real-life* help to regain your life.
For now, we can offer you support through posts, chats & our *coping tips & tricks* folder below. We'll be glad to cheer you on:) You CAN do this. We are all works in progress & can attest to learning new ways to face the anxiety & over come our fears. Don't be a stranger. Bookmark us to your favorites & make our board your home away from home. GL&GBU! (((hugs))) jan
Can someone tell me how I "bookmark" this? I often have difficulty getting to this message board!
Thanks much!
I am soo technically challenged it's pathetic): I only know how to bookmark or save to favorites on my pc. Here is how I do it & maybe it will help.
Left click so the url is highlighted. That's the address on top when you first come to the board. Not when you're reading a post. Left click on *add to your favorites.* I have the latest Internet Explorer & Windows XP. It shows a yellow star for favorites. Beside that is a green cross on a yellow star. You click on the green cross to add. When the
Have a good week-end!
Thanks again for helping not only the anxious but the "computer challenged" as well! LOL!
Lynne
First of all, you are not a freak. I have many similar feelings that you described in your posting. When I am put in the spotlight, I shake horribly. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can barely walk. When put in certain social situations I shake, sweat and it feels like I am going to die. I have taken many F's on speeches that I was required to do for school. ( I attended a University and just obtained my bachelors degree in journalism) I avoid any social situation in which I am put in the spotlight, including my own college graduation. If I couldn't avoid it I would need a drink or so of alcohol to calm me down before. What you are feeling, you are not alone.
I have been dealing with this for abt 10 years, and just came to grips with my problem recently. Much like yourself. I hate feeling this way, and no one in my family understands what I am going thru. Somedays I feel like running my car into a tree would just be easier than constantly worrying and dealing with this. I am not suicidal, but I wish my family would recognize my problem. I feel like I have no one to talk to other than my best friend, this message board and the dr.
After seeing my dr. recently he diagnosed me with Generalized Social Anxiety. He has put me on Lexapro and Xanax, which has made a difference. I am also to see a Behavorial therapist, who will work with me to get over this anxiety. I have only been taking it for two weeks, but feel better than I did before. It was too overwhelming and it has taken over my life, but I am trying my hardest to take back control. It's not easy, but his message board is AMAZING and has given me a support group. You have come to the right place.
Just know, that you are not alone. Much comfort....Much hope and faith.
Mandi
My little trick is that I go to my email and click a link that has notified me when someone responded to one of my posts...it opens the internet browser and take me right here. ;)
Smiles,
Dee
Thanks for your thoughtful tip!! It is terrible to be so computer challenged! Yes, it does also increase my anxiety!
Like it already needed to be increased! LOL!!
Again, many thanks!
My best to you for an anxiety and stress free week-end! I so appreciated your time and effort!
Peace!
Lynne
You're welcome Lynne,
Hope you have a good weekend too :)
Smiles,
Dee
Does anyone else experience "not the normal" classic anxiety symptoms?
Sometimes, I feel like maybe it's something else--not anxiety triggering these sensations?
I have a lot of muscle tension from my anxiety that leads to soreness and aches, especially with my jaw. I haven't had the tinglingly you described, but I've read other folks on the board with a variety of symptoms like that.
I do also believe that you should continue to check with your doctor if you think something else is wrong. I'll bet you get some other responders on here too. ;) You are definitely not alone in having other symptoms!
Smiles,
Dee
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