Hurtful
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Hurtful
| Fri, 02-02-2007 - 7:22pm |
We had a small party in the lunch room of my office today because the Bears are in the superbowl (I'm in Chicago). I sat at a table by myself and two different people approached me asking if anyone was sitting with me and when I smiled and said no, they took the chair and sat at another table. Everyone was crowded around with too many people at their table while I sat alone. I have worked there for 2 and a half years and everyone knows who I a because of what I do in the company.
It has been like this all my life. I am pretty and thin (not that this should matter anyway), and friendly when people talk to me (when they bother to anyway). I don't understand what is so repellent about me. I can't be that bad since I'm getting married to a great guy in 6 months.
I am 30 years old and thought this would get better as I got older, or at least thought it would hurt less when I was rejected. But I still feel like a high school outcast.
I honestly don't know what is wrong with me and why people don't like me.
It has been like this all my life. I am pretty and thin (not that this should matter anyway), and friendly when people talk to me (when they bother to anyway). I don't understand what is so repellent about me. I can't be that bad since I'm getting married to a great guy in 6 months.
I am 30 years old and thought this would get better as I got older, or at least thought it would hurt less when I was rejected. But I still feel like a high school outcast.
I honestly don't know what is wrong with me and why people don't like me.

That's terrible! Especially in a small office like that. I know how you feel - I've been at my job for 5 years now, and when I first started no one offered to have lunch with me - not even on my first day. Even now there are people who barely acknowledge my presence (if at all) unless they need something. A lot of it has to do with the culture (I work with a lot of PhDs, and I'm in support staff) but it is hard some days not to let it get to you.
I'm in Chicago too. Go Bears!
In situations like that, I always go sit at the most crowded table & join in the conversation.
Sheri Ann
:(
I used to live in Wrigleyville for years. Now I live in the northwest part of the city.
Whenever I hear Aurora I think of "Wayne's world, Wayne's world, party time, excellent!" LOL
Well I called my employee assistance program. I am going to try (for the fifth? or sixth? time) to see a counselor to try to come up with some coping skills. I just PRAY that they don't start in about my childhood and all this other crap, becuase that is NOT what I want to talk about. I dont' care WHY I have social anxiety, I just want to find a way to deal with it. I feel like everyone is against me and out to get me right now. I posted on another board regarding a personal, sensitive matter and was completely attacked and it's just adding to the way I feel right now. I really need some support from people who understand what its like to feel like everyone hates you.
Thanks Debbie.
You know... I have no idea what signals I am putting off. I'm 30 years old and have always been the same way for the most part. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong but I don't. I've had alot of people ask me that same question. I just don't understand why people relate to me the way they do.
Cheryl