New here, very anxious...(long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
New here, very anxious...(long)
7
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 12:41pm
Well hi, newbie here. My name is Erin, I am 33 with 2 kids and a DH of 13yrs. I have GAD and some Panic. I am having a really hard time right now. I have always been anxious, ever since I was small but the physical part of it wasn't bad until 3yrs ago. I didn't even know it was that bad until I started taking meds and it went away. Then I realized how on edge I was every day. Back then, my symptoms were mostly just getting nauseous and getting the uncontrollable shakes for a while, then diahrea and lots and lots of peeing. That would course over about 3hrs then I would be fine. Then I got an infection, took some meds that made me have a reaction and my anxiety skyrocketed. I was seeing every Doctor I could think of because no one could tell me what the heck was wrong! Finally after MRI's and angiograms and EKG's and a trip to the neuologist, they tell me I have anxiety!!!! It was so bad by that point that I was practically bedridden. I couldn't eat, barely slept, jitters, chest pain, it was bad. Finally, on Thanksgiving night I ended up having a real panic attack which I had never had before. I woke my husband up and told him to call an ambulance that I thought I was having a heart attack. Well, I wasn't of course but the next day I saw a Dr in the ER that convinced me to take the samples of Paxil I had been carrying in my purse for 2wks. I felt better within a week and it only got better. I switched to the generic 20mg after the samples of Paxil CR 12.5 were gone and did great for 3yrs. Then I decided to try to go off my meds. I did it slow and under my NP's supervision. We took it down only 2.5mg at at time since any more caused withdrawl symps. So, that was this last Oct. I was off the meds and doing good till Dec when I got sick with a bug. For some reason that is what sets my anxiety off, me or my kids getting sick. Not so much the kids anymore, mostly just me. Since Dec I have been on a roller coaster ride of anxiety and panic. I have lost alot of weight since I get so nauseous. Now my symptoms have changed, I am not sleeping well, I wake up all tense and panicked about nothing in particular, I get hot flashes and a warm sensation in my chest that travels to my fingertips and they tingle. After a night of this, I feel like I have been put thru the ringer, I am tired, weak, my muscles feel like jello and of course the nausea and dizziness. It can take me days for these things to go away. At the beginning of Jan I went back on the meds. I started the PaxilCR 12.5mg again like before and it seemed to be helping. I took it for 3 wks and then my daughter got the flu and so did I. Here came the roller coaster again. I called my NP because I was having more anxiety than ever, all day long and at night too. I have a husband who works and two kids in school who need me, and this is interferring so much in our lives. I was freaking out thinking it was the meds or the meds not working. My NP thought maybe the time release wasn't working for me so we switched to the Paroxotine 20mg (generic paxil) regular dose and I have been on that for 4 days now. My anxiety is still bad and I don't know what to do. I started therapy last week but it was mostly just a meet and greet, I didn't get any tools to deal with my anxiety yet. Plus there is always that part of my mind that wants to say "I know these things are the anxiety, BUT.....what if its not, what if you are having mini heart attacks and you don't know it" then it starts all over again!!! ACK!!!! I just want the meds to work again like they did before and I don't understand how I could be on something that worked so well for 3 yrs and now it not work at all???? Oh and I am on my period too, so that doesn't help matters. Yes, I am glad I found this board to see I am not the only one whose symptoms get worse during that time of the month!!! At least that was good to know. I am thinking of calling my NP today and asking for some Xanax to see if it will help get me over this hurdle till my anxiety is under control. It is VERY reasurring to see that many of you have had BAD anxiety and are doing well. Please tell me that there is light at the end of the tunnel!!! If you made it this far, thank you!!! Please share your experiences with me so I know I am not alone in this!!! Hugs Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 1:28pm

Hi, Erin! You are very welcome here. Having been in your posistion, I can relate to what you're experiencing. I have had many *sensations* of hot, cold, tingling & numbness. I am a *shaker & shiverer* when I panic, too.

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 2:29pm
Hi and welcome. I agree with Jan as always. She knows what she is talking about "most" of the time.....just kidding around she is a smart lady. When I read your post it is like your mind is going a 100 miles an hour and you have the brake on. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR. Our fear of anxiety is what causes alot of our anxiety. Why? Because it is scary. If you could get yourself to focus on something else, I'm sure your Paxil will kick in and start working. Why did you come off of it before? I read that you did it with supervision. Just curious as to why you stopped. Hang in there. Take care of you. Debbie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 2:38pm
Thank you so much Jan. When you are in the middle of all this, its hard to think that there are people out there who actually know what you are going thru. I just want it all to go away so I can be "normal" again! I really do want to jump to the rafters and chase my kids around the house and do all the fun stuff we do. I talked to my NP this morning and she wants me to add another 10mg of my Paxil on in the evenings. Plus she is calling me in an RX for Ativan just in case. I don't know if I will even take the Ativan but I will feel better knowing I have it on hand. I am hoping the week goes by fast so I can see my therapist for some better ideas of how to deal with this. I hate it that I am taking medications that I don't even know if they are working. Thank you for the input about the 'heart' stuff. Right now my poor heart feels like its been wrung out. I know it is just what my anxiety has done to my whole system. I think the nausea is the worst of it, I just want to be hungry again!! LOL! Oh, and a wierd symptom, I burp all the time!!! It makes me feel better but its so wierd! I wonder if I am gulping air without realizing it. That was the only thing I could think of. Anyway, thanks again!! Hugs, Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 5:16pm

Hi Erin,
I too am on Paxil. Like you I decided to go off my meds and was good for a while, but then the anxiety came back . I was put back on paxil, but too high of a dose and had terrible side effects, including one of the worst panic attacks I have ever had. My doctor swicthed me to cymbalta, but the side effects continued. I was so weak form loss of appetite that I missed a whole week of work. I went back on 10 mg of paxil shortly before Cristmas and am doing better but not100%
I keep thinking that something os really wrong with me, even though I have been completely checked out form head to toe. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster too.
I jsut wanted to respond to let you know that you are not alone . In reading your post many of the symptoms and your feelings are just like mine. I am actually looking into going to a specialist because I don't think my family doctor can completely help me right not. Hang in there and keep me posted on how you are doing!

Magen

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 5:40pm
So what Paxil dose were you on before you quit the meds and what dose did you start on again and what side effects did you have??? I keep asking my NP if it could be the meds causing my anxiety and panic but she doesn't think so. When I called my NP this morning she wants me to up my Paxil by taking my normal 20mg dose in the am and then another 10mg at night. I am scared to do that though. She is giving me an RX for Ativan to help me to try to get some rest. Was your nausea really bad too? About all I can eat is soup, oatmeal and jello. And that's only when I force myself. Oh and sometimes toast. Thank you for posting, I hope you get even better!!!! Hugs, Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 6:36pm

hi erin,


i can totally relate to your post! your symptoms and frustration..i feel it too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2007
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 7:15pm
About 5 years ago I started out on 10mg of paxil then went up to 20 after a week. When I went back on it after being on nothing for 4 months my doctor put me on 20mg right away and it was too much for me. I was very tired , had no energy, no appetite and was very emotional and depressed. I was not nauseated just had no appetite. After going back down to 10 mg I started to feel better, but it does take 4-6 weeks for the full affect. The ativan should help you relax. When I was in the ER with a bad panic attack they gave me ativan and it was wonderful. It relaxed me and helped me to calm down. I hope it helps for you!