WORRIED...VENTING

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
WORRIED...VENTING
4
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 1:09pm

I am in need of advice....My family just found out that my 21 yr. old stepsister is addicted to Heroin and Cocaine. We have known for awhile that she had a drug problem with oxy's but now she has really taken it to the next level. My family has tried even going to the actual "drug house" that she has been staying at. She flipped out and says she does not have a problem. Meanwhile she weighs like 85 lbs., is white as the snow outside and her nose is red as ever. This girl went in just two years from a cheerleader at her University, a honor-roll student to dropping out of school, jobless and is now a Heroin addict. The State police say that there is nothing they can do cause she is adult. How can you tell a parent that you just have to sit back and watch your daughter self-destruct? She thinks we are all crazy and that she doesn't have a problem. Our hands are tied. How do make a person see that there is a problem? It hurts me sooo much to see my sister being taken over by these drugs. I am afraid she is going to indirectly kill herself.

I know this has nothing to do with anxiety but I post here often, and just need some support, words of wisdom, advice...at this point

Mandi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 1:46pm

I am sorry, Mandi. Everything you have posted, I am living every day with my 19yo dd. There IS nothing you or your parents can do for your step-sister but love her. Until she admits that she has a problem, noone can seek help for her. I have been told many times by the police, doctors, nurses & counselors, that this is a personal choice by an adult. This is no different than people who choose to smoke a cigarette. We might not like them smoking. They may develop cancer & die from it, but they have the right to do as they choose.


You can help her by NOT enabling her. Not supporting her habit by giving her money for the rent or utilities, etc. I know first hand that the money will go right up her nose or in a vein. You can report illegal behavior that you see. Don't pay any fines or pay for an attorney if she gets into legal difficulties. If that hasn't happened by now, then your family is lucky. It WILL happen soon enough): Nagging doesn't work, either.


It is possible that she may die. That is NOT something you can learn to live with. Learning to detach with love is what I have been

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 3:08pm

Thank you...everyone I speak with seems to say the same thing. They have been trying for months to get her to admit she has a problem, but things just keep getting worse. She had an abortion, DUI (which she has yet to pay any fines), she owes her bank, friends and family money, can't keep a job. It's like it just builds each month. They have thrown her out of the house unless she agrees to a drug test, which she refuses. They also have stopped giving her money. Her grandparents just found out about all of this so they just stopped giving her money. She is just so angry with everyone and all we are trying to do is help her, but she is no longer my step-sister. I love this girl, she is like a real sister to me. Our parents have been together for like 15 years.

She claims that she was using some suproxin pill to try to get clean, but since she has started blowing Heroin. I don't know what is next. She wants no help and thinks she has no problem. Have you heard or know anything about this suproxin?

They say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem but what if you can't even get them to admit that? And before it's too late...

Mandi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 3:56pm

I know it's awful, Mandi. My dd has OD'd twice. Once she was dead & was resuscitated two times to bring her back. She STILL used after that experience. Her counselor says that she must hit bottom. I have no clue what that is. I would have hit it a long time ago.


Here is a link: http://www.fda.gov/cder/drug/infopage/subutex_suboxone/subutex-qa.htm

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 11:31am

Thank you...that link really answered many of our questions. It seems as though since she started using this drug that her use has gotten worse.

I am so worried about her, everytime I close my eyes I picture her the way my Mom described her physical condition. It breaks my heart, but I am praying that something has to give. I hope her "rock bottom" isen't death.

I will try to stay postitive...and keep my faith alive. Hugs!!! Good Luck to you as well.

Mandi