need support :(
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| Wed, 02-07-2007 - 11:29am |
Hello Everyone,
I am 22 years old, for about a year now I have lived away from my family everything I knew to come and live with my boyfriend. When I first moved here we were living with his parents, and then we finally decided to move out. Every since we have moved out (Oct. 2006) I have had very bad anxiety and depression. I obsess over every little thing, and I am constantly living in fear of everything. Everything has been up and down I have had problems in my relationship, then I start questioning everything I have done. I do not know anyone here except my boyfriend and his family. I am home sick, when I go back home to visit my family I miss here. The other day I found out he has been taking pills that are not prescribe to him making me worry even more. Everyone in my family tells me I deserve better, and sometimes I think I do. But when I think about leaving here and everything that I have built on my own I start freaking out. I am scared to be alone and start all over again. There are alot of issues that I have been struggling with with my boyfriend, he is very dependent on his mother, he is just starting to save money (he is 30). The prescription drugs also worry me. I just dont know whether or not this is right for me, do I have to high of expectations?

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Hey Laura...first of all your expectations are not too high...I know how hard it is to move away from everything you knew and start again, because i did it when i was 18...i moved the day after i graduated from high school to live with my dad who i really had no relationship with at all growing up, but I needed to get away from my mother, and that is hard...and i totally understand your fear of being alone and having to start all over again as well, because sometimes i look around and wonder if I did the right thing by the choices i made, and you really need to listen to your heart, that little voice that whispers in your ear, and sometimes you may not always like what it has to say, but most of the time your gut instinct is right. But you need to follow your own path, and remember that the most important person is YOU, but if you feel like you really want to work at this relationship, you two need to have a good long talk. I married a "mama's boy" and it was difficult after we got married...we ended up having to go to marriage counsleing for a year because of his family, but it helped, he realized alot of things and our marriage is stronger now because of it, but both parties have to be willing to make it work. and it sounds like you truly love this person, because of your concern about the pills, which I think you also need to ask him about...are you taking anything for your anxiety? I am on Xanax and it helps alot...but take one thing at a time...sit down and think about what you want, and I think you and your man need to have a real heart to heart...and I also know how it is not to have many people around you to talk to or support you, and that can be rough, but you need to believe that you are strong enough to do anything, and its HARD, because I have to tell myself that every morning to get out of bed lots of times...but if you ever need to talk, send me an email at LittleOne0916@aol.com....but we are here for you, and I totally understand what you are going through...keep me posted and chin up....IT WILL GET BETTER lots of luv and hugs
Krista
Krista,
Thank you so much for your support and guidance. I am currently taking Welbutrin XL for depression/anxiety. I am constantly obsessing over every little thing in fear of the unknown. I talked to my therpist yesterday she told me she thought I did this because I am trying to distract my mind from what really is bothering me (i.e. my relationship with my boyfriend) I am young I know, I want to be happy, I am not quite sure if this is situational anxeity/depression, I dont recall feeling like this ever before. When I confronted him about the pills he said I was pinpointing all of his faults out and he tried to compare my anxiety pills and those pills. He said if I didnt like him doing that, then I need to make a decision. I just feel like I am at my wits end !
Jan,
Thank you for your advice it is greatly appreciated. I know sometimes I feel so alone, but coming here and knowing God is always there helps me to get through the day sometimes. Especially since I do not have any family here. Anyways, I know me is important I think my fear of loosing him and leaving here and starting all over again is making me stay here. Im so lost...
Hello Everyone,
So for the past couple of days me and my bf have not talked about the pills etc. its kinda just like ignore what really is going on. So this weekend I wanted to actually sit down and talk to him calmly, part of me feels like it is time to move on, all I have is anxiety 24/7 about our whole relationship and I dont want to feel this way anymore. I needed your guys advice as to how I should approach this and what I should say to him. I know I cant change him, but I just need to let him know how I feel.
I know how hard it is to be dependent on a relationship.
Sheri Ann
Hey Girls,
Thank you for all of your support. I talked to my bf this weekend, and finally told him how I felt. He admitted it was not good him taking pills, he was take them to get rid of the pain physically and emotionally. But I still find myself not too sure of everything. He said he would go see a doctor and tell them everything that has been going on. Even if he says he will go to a doctor I dont know if I can trust him. He doesnt think he was lying to me he says he didnt tell me because he knew how much I worried about everything. A lie is a lie to me atleast....help........
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