Should have listened to my NP...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Should have listened to my NP...
7
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:54pm
Well, after talking to my NP and tellig her how crappy my night went with the extra 10mg of Paxil. She suggested I go back to the paxil 12.5mgCR daily and use the Ativan to sleep at night. Well, I did that last night and the Ativan helped me sleep for 7hrs straight which was good but I woke up with anxiety symptoms or panic, whatever at 5am and couldn't go back to sleep. I got up and took my daily dose of the Paxil CR and went back to sleep and am still having anxiety. Here's the kicker, the night before when I took the xtra 10mg, yeah, I had a cruddy night, couldn't sleep till I took the Ativan at 2:30 and then woke up groggy at 6:30 to get the kids off to school and then back to bed till noon. BUT!!!!!!! NO ANXIETY YESTERDAY!!!!! NONE!!!! By last night, I actually felt almost normal!! I even ate dinner! My tummy wasn't too happy at first but it got used to it and by bedtime I felt GOOD!!!! I was smiling and happy watching American Idol and laughing! So, now I am kicking myself that I didn't just stay on the Paxil 20mg in the am and the 10mg extra at night. I guess I didn't give it a chance. So, I think I will struggle thru today with the 12.5mgCR and start all over with the 20mg tomorrow. I have an appt with my therapist tomorrow at 1:30 and I am soooo glad!!! Wish me luck and let me know what you think!!! Hugs, Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 4:49pm
These ups & downs are very common with anxiety. It takes time to get the meds & our lives on an even keel. I wish you lots of luck, Erin. Please
 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 5:04pm
Yes, I am my own worst enemy alot!! LOL! I am not sure what will happen now. I am thinking I will stick with the 12.5mg for today and tomorrow, using the Ativan for sleep tonight and then see what my therapist thinks tomorrow. This morning was a little rough, some anxiety trying to creep up but I tried the deep breathing and it helped. I just need to try to catch it before it gets out of control. I am thinking I probably do need the stronger dose of meds but I want to wait and see what the therapist says before I go self medicating again and get myself all screwed up. I actually ate toast for breakfast and a sandwich and some grapes for lunch so that's awesome! My tummy isn't thinking its awesome but I have been talking him down all day about it!! LOL! Keep me in your prayers!! Thanks again!! Hugs, Erin
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 5:31pm
Well done for yesterday and good luck for tomorrow!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 5:54pm

Dear Beneath,

I just wanted to say thank you for even posting on my link!! I just read your post about "I'm scared" and just taking the time to post a helpful message to someone else says alot about what a great person you are!! I understand your anxiety very well. Most of my nights I wake up in a panic and so now bedtime (my FAVORITE time of day) is getting ruined for me!!! Its such a vicious cycle because when you aren't sleeping, it makes the anxiety worse because you feel so fatigued, shaky and weak. I used to end up convinceing myself it wasn't the anxiety, that I must be having mini heart attacks and that was why I was so weak all the time. Well, that's NOT why and I knew it at the time, but its hard to convince your irrational mind of that isn't it??? You will NOT die when you sleep, and you SHOULD try the meds. I totally know what you are going thru but the cycle will keep going round and round unless you take the meds and get some rest. You will feel SO much better, I promise!!!! It also sounds like you have tremendous pressure on you at work!! You sound very proud of what you do and that's great. Maybe you could take some time off now that you have met your deadlines??? Just take a day and do nothing but curl up and rest, take a hot bath and listen to some music. If any of those feelings start to come up, just think of a soothing song and sing it in your head. That is what I do to block out all my inner dialog when it is trying to convince me something is wrong. You CAN get thru this, I know you will. We can all do this together. Thank God for this board, I love it. Please keep us updated on how you are doing!!! Big Hugs, Erin

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 7:25pm
Bless you! That was so sweet, it's so uplifting to read your words of wisdom, they have put a smile on my face which should hopefully get me through another night of being so silly. I too just like you think I'm having mini heart attacks, it all happens a night but when it becomes the day I'm more or less 'normal' at least I know now that there really isn't anything wrong its just an obstacle in my life and not the end of it. Well done for getting better your an inspiration. P.s. I am on meds now and they are helping.
*hugs*
x
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 7:40pm
It made me feel so good for you to read your post just now. Nights are the worst aren't they? That is when my anxiety does all the nasty stuff. Why does it always seem worse in the night????? Just do like I do, keep telling yourself "my heart is FINE" over and over and over!! LOL! I know it call all seem so silly in the morning but when it is happening it is so scary and completely real. I even count my hearbeats and take my pulse sometimes just to reassure myself. I know it sounds nutty but that is what this does to us!!! I pray the meds help you fast and you are able to sleep well and get rested. I got in 7 hrs last night with meds and it has made a world of difference. I am actually eating right now because I am HUNGRY and that hasn't been the case in a week and a half!! Yipee!!! Every obstacle is a huge accomplishment no matter how small right??? You hang in there tonight, I will be thinking of you!!! Hugs, ERin
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 6:14am

Hi Erin, I managed to get some sleep with my meds last night and I feel much better today. I too check my pulse constantly I even expect not to find a pulse sometimes as I think that I must be about to die! How bizarre! At least it's not just me. :D We can laugh about it together and I am sure that the next time I check I will think of how silly we must both look and have a good giggle. Well done for taking your meds keep going honey! I believe in you!

Angel