just need to vent about anxiety
Find a Conversation
just need to vent about anxiety
| Sun, 02-11-2007 - 1:15pm |
I am not sure whether I have been to this board before or not. Several years ago I spent a lot of time on Betrayed spouses board. I still go there some and related boards. I feel bad because I don't read there much anymore since there are different people and it consumes me too much...time wise and emotionally.
I really probably need some xanax but I usually stay away from meds. And I have not been to any doctors for a while.
Its a difficult weekend. My children( young adults) have gone to see there Dad for a special occasion. Its the first time since our seperation that they have been on "his turf". I was not invited and it has been like a slap in the face all over again. With the OW there it was not appropriate for me etc. I understand it but I can not keep from hurting.
Anyway I tried to get out of the house and stay busy. It took me ten minutes to be able to go down an escalator with out asking to hold on to someone. I was not sure how long I was going to be there. It was also at night and in the city and I was alone. What was I thinking. Today I needed to call one of my sons for some information and it took me an hour and a half to call. I just felt so uncomfortable. I kept telling myself it was silly. if I wanted to see him tonight I would need to find out when he would be in the area. I did not know if anything was wrong, if I was intruding And I also did not know if I really should see him tonight. There is a part of me that wants to be productive and plan and enjoy the day but it is so hard. The lump in my throat hurts right now.
How do I deal with this ridiculous anxiety?
I really probably need some xanax but I usually stay away from meds. And I have not been to any doctors for a while.
Its a difficult weekend. My children( young adults) have gone to see there Dad for a special occasion. Its the first time since our seperation that they have been on "his turf". I was not invited and it has been like a slap in the face all over again. With the OW there it was not appropriate for me etc. I understand it but I can not keep from hurting.
Anyway I tried to get out of the house and stay busy. It took me ten minutes to be able to go down an escalator with out asking to hold on to someone. I was not sure how long I was going to be there. It was also at night and in the city and I was alone. What was I thinking. Today I needed to call one of my sons for some information and it took me an hour and a half to call. I just felt so uncomfortable. I kept telling myself it was silly. if I wanted to see him tonight I would need to find out when he would be in the area. I did not know if anything was wrong, if I was intruding And I also did not know if I really should see him tonight. There is a part of me that wants to be productive and plan and enjoy the day but it is so hard. The lump in my throat hurts right now.
How do I deal with this ridiculous anxiety?

I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds really rough. Of course you feel left out after your kids went to see their dad. You are still adjusting to your separation. Are you involved in a support group at all? One of my friends got divorced for the second time last year, and he said that was a huge help. Have you seen a therapist? You are going through a big life change right now, and it's hard to handle on your own. I think it's important for you to acknowledge what you are feeling. It's not ridiculous at all.
You might want to start some new routines on your own for these times when your kids are visiting their dad on special occasions. Reach out to some friends and make plans to stay busy, or if you're religious at all get more involved with your religious community.
You could start a journal about what you're feeling. I did that when I first started experiencing anxiety and panic attacks. It's amazing to look back on how far you can come in a short time.
I'm sorry to hear that you are suffering like this.
Sheri Ann
Welcome! Nice to see you;) I am sorry to hear about your distress. Anxiety can interfere with our happiness & it seems to have interfered with yours. It is clear that you still need to heal from your relationship. Can you talk to a therapist? Do you have a close friend you can share your feelings with? Human connections are very important.
You seem to be doing the right things. It does help to keep busy. Thinking positively & not focusing on feeling *left out* would be very helpful. The research says it will take 8 minutes to re-direct our thoughts & quiet our *inner critic.* Please check out our *coping tips & tricks* folder below. I have found that many times, I can learn new ways to help myself. In fact, when the anxious thoughts & fears pop up, I allow myself 15 minutes ONLY, then get busy. Have you considered exercising? That is a great stress buster & can burn off excess anxiety.
Noone wants to take meds. @ least most of the ppl who post to this board are reluctant to take them. I know I was. But, research does show that meds in combination with therapy will improve 80% of folks who use these methods. It does NOT mean you need to take them forever. Only until you get a handle on things.
Take care of yourself. Maybe it's time for a good physical if you haven't been to the dr. We care & know that you can get better. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan