SO SICK OF IT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
SO SICK OF IT!
11
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:24pm
I am soo sick and tired of picking at myself. Why am I soo obsessed that something is wrong with my body? I am healthy, my cholesterol and cbc is all good. I have gone so to the extreme to take an HIV test when I have been with my husband for 9 yrs (neither have cheated) and I have a healthy 2 1/2 year old, I gave blood in 99 and 01 and they were both fine. My HIV came back neg, and I am still obsessed!!!!!!!!!! I look at my gums, my skin etc....WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 8:35pm

Obsessive thinking is very common with anxiety.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 11:03pm

Thanks Sheri Ann, My first family dr. had OCD in my file. I tried Wellbutrin and I think that is the root of my terrible thoughts. I had a terrible time with that stuff. I switched drs. and my new one suggested Lexapro. I am too scared of how the Wellbutrin made me feel to try anything, and I don't want to gain weight from it. I have a friend who has gained like 45 lbs since she went on Lexapro. Now that dr. made a move on me and my husband flipped so I have not found a new dr. What a mess. I just want to go back to Oct. 13, 2006 and never would have tried that Wellbutrin!!!

I went to a phscotherapist a couple of times and she just got on my nerves by saying "and how does that make you feel" I wanted to scream!!

I am looking for a hobby and trying to find time for exercise. But with working full time and having a 2 1/2 yr old, it is hard to find that time.

Thanks again. I can use all the support I can get. I am about to drive my husband crazy and I want to be more focused on my son rather that obsessing that something is wrong with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 11:42pm

You are NOT alone. Many of those who post to the board have preoccupations & obssessions with illness. I am one of them. Though you have had bad experiences in the past with meds & therapy, I would suggest that you try again. Weight gain is a small price to pay for peace of mind. OTOH, not all meds cause everyone who takes them to gain weight. One size therapist does not fit all, either.


ITA with Sheri Ann. Get a good head to toe checkup. You can get the reassurance you need that you are healthy. Also, a confirmed diagnosis & a treatment plan can be suggested by your dr. One thing that has really helped me over the years with my health fears, is that I try to eat as best I can, exercise, get plenty of sleep, make time for *me* & quit smoking long ago. I remind myself that I am doing all that is possible to be healthy & avoid illness.


Take a look @ the *coping tips & tricks* folder below. There's a couple of good links to articles on how to make worry work for you. GL&GBU! (((hugs))) jan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 8:21am

Hi....

Have had panic disorder for over 26 years.....when I first developed this..I was brain dead..I could not even tell you who was the current President of the US..I was sick...my stomach, my head, my ears ringing, heart palpatations....and thought I had every disease at that time...AIDS was not a problem then...I had complusive disorder....checked the door locks a 100 times....people at work gave me a "goodie bag" all kinds of otc stuff...not funny...these symptoms were real to me...I even had my colon tested...okay I didn't know what I had until I read an article in a Womens magazine...went to get treatment...my youngest was 9 mos and oldest 2....I was put on zanax...I slept for about two days and gradually I could think and function again...I wish I could tell you I am healed...I recently had to change Drs....took me off xanax...was put on Lexapro, Wellbutrin..and about ten other meds....non worked....headaches, blurred vision, could not think, write, read....spent the next 9 months in seclusion...finally decided to check myself in...we had lost our health insurance so I called a crises place and they referred me to a private Dr. back on xanax, but he has cut me back to times three per day...Drs don't like xanax....also supposed to be on another drug...sick of it...but for encouragement I can tell you from what you have said....I have been there and been tested.Mental health is a taboo from my age group...you don't talk about it...well I do to my husband only..and just now to this message board...Don't be afraid to talk about it. I have like I said had all kinds of mystery ailments and fled grocery stores and talked my way back home with my heart racing...hang in and know you are not alone...there are many of us...just hate it that you are about the same age as I was when I first had symptoms and if I could I would give you a big hug.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 9:23am

My gosh, I am so glad I found this board!

I have had a head to toe check up and I am completly fine. But for some reason I can't accept that. ALL the blood work that they have ran is great. I have no swollen anything except since Saturday my hands feel swollen and stiff in the mornings...

I think the problem is that I have never been sick my entire life and I have been battling sinus problems since October off and on. Everyone tells me that it is where we live and as we grow older, our bodies change. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! So when you start searching the internet for your own diagnosis, all these horrible diseases come up. I am trying very hard to stop that.

Thanks again for the support!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 11:09am

welcomeHi! We're glad you found us & shared your story. I have had panic attacks for 36+ years. Most of them very good years. I have found that meds & therapy were needed to get me out of that *brain dead* feeling & able to learn new ways to cope.


I hope you won't be a stranger. Take a look @ our *coping tips & tricks* folder. Join us in chat. I'll save you a seat for tonight's;) GL&GBU & GBH's jan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2007
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 2:58pm
What time is the chat?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 8:41pm
Chats are on Tues. & Thurs evenings from 9 to 11pm EST. Here's the link: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-bhanxchat&nav=start
 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 11:25am

It's too bad that once we try meds and have a bad side effect that we are afraid to try another one.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 11:57am

Hi & welcome!

Sheri Ann

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