New here.. too much to handle?
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| Tue, 02-20-2007 - 11:47pm |
Hello, my name is Jacqueline and this is my first time posting on this board. I post over at TTCAM usually. I have been on Lexapro in the past but stopped when DH and I decided to try to concieve our 3rd child. I have 2 daughters, 8 and 5 years old.
Since March of last year, I have had 2 miscarraiges. We are going to try one last time and that is it... :-(
I turn 40 next month, so that is getting me down. DH did some majorly stupid financial/IRS stuff back in December that we are still dealing with.
And the biggest thing, is that my Dad was recently, last week, diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and goes in for surgery next Wednesday. My DH is out of town again, it is the busy time of year for him to travel. He was away when we found out about my dad, home for a few days and gone again until the surgery.
My girls are home this week for February vacation. Which is actually better since I don't have to rush around in the morning.
Lately, I just feel sick to my stomache all the time. Major anxiety, sleep and appetite changes. I just feel such dread. I do not know how to get myself out of this. I do not want to go back on meds since we are trying to get pregnant. Unlikely this month due to DH's travel schedule. But, at my age, I can't put it off too long.
I just don't feel any hope, I am sad & depressed. My poor 8yo threw up last week at 1am. I just sobbed and sobbed about it. I told her it wasn't her fault. Then while cleaning it up I just couldn't stop gagging... urgh.
When I first found out about my dad, I cried uncontrollably for a couple of days. The tears have stopped, but the dread and stomache ache have continued. I am so mad a God right now. I try to pray, but it all seems so pointless. He has said NO to me for the last year, why would now be any different?
I am alone... and scared....
Sorry for the long rambling post....
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Jacqueline mom of Talia Rhiannon (5/4/1998) & Ellowyn Nerys (2/7/2002)

Hi Jacqueline & welcome to our board!
Sheri Ann
Thank you for your warm welcome!
I have called my therapist and she called me right back and I am seeing her on Friday.
I have also called my friends (who live in PA, I am in MA) and talked with them for an hour or so. Their support means a lot to me. I am still feeling icky and anxious, but this is a start.
Thanks again
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Jacqueline