Fear Of Losing My Mind

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2004
Fear Of Losing My Mind
8
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 9:12am

I know this is a common fear of anxiety victims. I am getting obsessed with this one I think lately. I am analyzing every thought and it is wearing me down badly. I keep trying to tell myself that our brains are very complex things and we are going to experience weird thoughts, weird sensations mentally, etc. and I can say that right now because I am thinking clear but when I am not as strong mentally, none of this logic seems to matter.

Do many of you feel like you are almost like another person when you go into anxiety mode? Like your voice of reason is in there still but buried deep and like you cannot access it when you are feeling messed up? Then later you go back to normal and you are like who in the heck was that person that was all messed up like that?

The mental stuff that bothers me is anything that suggests losing control. I will admit, I have to feel like I am in control of my mind and body or bad things happen. Please tell me if you have experienced these types of things...Like when you are sleepy or worn out and cannot quite sleep yet and have all those disconnected meaningless thoughts where your mind jumps all over and you cannot focus on anything and it is like running away from you. Not bad thoughts really, just stupid things that make no sense and are all disconnected. Well, I will freak out and feel like I must be losing my mind or that I must have some kind of brain tumor or some bad mental disorder that has the symptom of literally losing control of one's mind temporarily. Or another one is where I cannot remember something that was just said to me or that I just said (short term stuff). I will think OH NO I am losing my memory and again, that must be due to something very bad being wrong in my brain. (when in fact it was probably because I spaced out or was not paying attention) Another is where I hear a noise or think I heard someone say something but no one else heard it, or I see a flash of light or something going past me but nothing was really there, like how your eyes and ears can play tricks on you. I will think that I must be hallucinating or having delusions and that would mean something is badly wrong with me. And one more thing is that if I feel foggy or just different than what I consider normal, I see that as a sign of something bad being wrong with my brain.

I'm just obsessing this to death and it is making me stay in this state. Ugh.

-Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 10:25am

(((Kim))) I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 11:45am

kim,

great suggestion about the positive thought list. i know my mental list of good gets me thru!!

i have to say it again, we have such similar anxiety complaints, i'm sure like many here!

remember this is classic panic "am i losing my mind?"

i guarantee you, you ARE NOT going crazy or losing your mind!!

I PROMISE!!!!!! BREATHE, BREATHE!!

kris - are you currently on meds? do you have an as needed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 12:00pm

I have felt the foggy headed feeling a lot like that the past few weeks. I have even almost really wanted to go to the ER because I just knew there was something bad wrong with my brain. I just try to get through it as best I can because I have had lots of tests run and the only thing wrong is my thyroid is inflamed and enlarged. Just try to get your mind on something else. I will be praying for you. Know you are not alone.

Hugs!
Kelli

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 1:09pm

(((Kim))) I am sorry to hear this. I know it's very hard to cope with these thoughts. Like, Sheri Ann, I too have had every one of these & then some. Things that I could never share with anyone because they were so frightening. Even embarrassing.


It does get better. Remind yourself that these thoughts are NOT true/accurate/rational/sensible, etc. They CANNOT harm you in anyway. You WON'T act on them. They are simply part of the chemical imbalance & misfirings in

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
Sat, 03-03-2007 - 12:33pm

Hi kim,

i know exactly how you feel. i am 20 years old and as soon as i turned 20 i started having panic attacks non stop, i went to the dr and was diagnosed with panic disorder. it made me so depressed and i would always stress. i would get dizzy and clamy hands and would be afraid of hurting people i loved. i felt like i couldnt cook anymore if it involved using a knife afraid i would hurt my loved ones. it was scary and drove me to think i was developing some other disease such as schizoprenia, that was my only and worst fear.there is not enough time or probably space to explain the way i was feeling.i have a wonderful life and didnt know why this was happening. i obsessed that i was going to start seeing things and hearing things anyday now. it never happened, and i eventually started talking to other people about this and it turned out that some of my closest friends had also dealt with this before. i was so relieved to know i wasnt a freak and not alone. my best friend has dealt with anxiety and depression since she was about 16 and she has been the best hope for me to get well again. i love her to death and hope that one day i can help her the way she has helped me. my boyfriend has also been a great support system. i hope you feel better soon.

loves:)
melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 03-03-2007 - 4:10pm

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This is EXACTLY how I feel. I can hear that little voice telling me everything is fine when I start to worry, or when I start having a panic attack, but my body won't listen. It's like I have no control over my body, and the anxiety and the panic. It literally feels like you are losing control and going crazy...especially when out in public (for me anyways).

I also freak out when I can't remember something that was just said, or if I lose my keys etc. However, this is TOTALLY normal when you are feeling really anxious. Concentration is really affected by anxiety, and it is normal to be forgetful and confused. I have even seen things out of the corner of my eye that weren't there. we become hyper sensitive when our "fight-or-flight" system kicks in, so being unusally perceptive of our surroundings can sometimes lead to imagining we are seeing things or hearing things.

Please don't worry too much, what you are experiencing sounds like a very normal reaction to anxiety and stress. If you are really stressed out, why not go to your doctor and they will probably do some simple neurological tests in the office to reassure you. That is what I did when my symptoms really started to worry me, and they did a few quick tests and told me I was fine. It did help make me feel a lot better when they told me everything I was experiencing was a result of extreme anxiety, and that the symptoms weren't physically harmful.

Hugs,

Lindsay

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2007
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 1:11pm

Wow! I could have written your post word for word. My panic attacks started when I was about 17 but even as a child I was very nervous/anxious.

It feels better to know someone else feels the same way you do, and that you are not crazy!

I wish everyone the best!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 1:10am

Ohh Kim...I have certainly had those thoughts!!