Diagnosed today
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Diagnosed today
| Wed, 02-28-2007 - 5:59pm |
Bipolar II, rapid cycling
Generalized anxiety w/ agoraphobia
Panick disorder
Social anxiety
I'm all sorts of anxious.
| Wed, 02-28-2007 - 5:59pm |
Bipolar II, rapid cycling
Generalized anxiety w/ agoraphobia
Panick disorder
Social anxiety
I'm all sorts of anxious.
I try not to think about my diagnosis, or it just holds me back.
Sheri Ann
Just as Sheri Ann said, it's words. Plain & simple. The words are NOT you. They are NOT your essence. They do NOT define you. YOU are YOU & noone can take that away. You are so much more than a bunch of words on a piece of paper.
FWIW, you have some options here. You can take what you have found & allow it to define you. Be unhappy & miserable & perhaps feel hopeless. OR... you can take it & run with it. Get yourself the help you need. Use everything available to live a good life in spite of it. Embrace those words as your individualness & uniqueness in this old world.
I wish you the best. We're right here & we'll leave the light on for ya:) (((hugs))) jan
Actually, I'm relieved. For a couple years now I have known pretty much about the anxiety disorders. Well, I didn't expect the agoraphobia part, but then I realized hmmm I refused to drive for the majority of a year and did everything I could to avoid leaving the house... I just called myself a homebody who happened to be afraid that I'd DIE if I drove a car. LOL
I'm relieved really though. I didn't tell the Pdoc what I suspected. I let him "do his thing". I guess I am relieved because I've been trying so hard to be 'normal' and hide and now I can just accept it and do what is necessary to MAYBE actually get normal (stable).
He did not give me any medications because ... I started crying... I have been not using any contraceptives in a lazy way to TTC (meaning we aren't actively timing it or seeking fertility treatments, just letting nature take its course..unsuccessfully..) and the pdoc said I had to start using contraceptives for him to prescribe the medications. I tried SO hard to NOT cry that my face squished up and the tears still plopped out onto the floor.
I have a really hard time with big decisions, so pdoc said to discuss it with my husband, then if we decide we want to TTC that we need to ACTIVELY TTC and I HAVE to see my OBGYN to discuss medications to start ASAP that will be minimal risk. OR if we decide for me to get 'stable' first then to use contraceptions and at my next pdoc appt next month he'll prescribe valium and the mood stabilizers.
The stressor is that I so need an income. I've been unemployeed for a year, and I so need to get a job. It just hasn't worked out well. I've not trusted myself to do my job and make the decisions and do things in my job, I'm always so terrified of messing something up or doing the wrong thing. I was a social worker, so my mistakes can mess up peoples lives. With the stupid Bipolar I tend to have periods of hypomania where I am very confident and capable, and I do extremely well with my work but then I crash into the depression and my work suffers (and is noticeabley suffering).
Anyways, I knew I had anxiety I just did not realize that it was such a major player in my inability to fully function. Now that I was diagnosed and answered all those questions I can see it and recognize it. It's actually a relief for me to see it for what it is because it gives me hope that I can work on getting it under control. I know I may never be 'cured' from any of it, but I can take the steps to do what I can to get it under control and I can recognize it for what it is when I experience it and not let it control me.