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| Sat, 03-17-2007 - 9:07pm |
Hello. I am so glad I found this website. I am hoping if I share my story, some of you will have some advice, or just general support and understanding.
I am a 22 year old female. I started suffering from anxiety and panic attacks over a year ago. Final exams had just ended, and I was out celebrating with some friends, in which like a bolt of lightning, I had my first panic attack. I had no idea what it was, but it was THE SCARIEST thing I have EVER been through. I felt as if I was dying. It took me a few months to begin to realize it was a panic attack, and that I now suffer from anxiety. But I am strong and was determined to beat this and find out everything I can to not let it take over my life. Within the past few months I have been interviewing with several companies, which had given me an unbelievable amount of anxiety. Even though I was very qualified for the job, all I could do was obsess about the interviews. In one interview I had to leave during the middle of it because I was so nervous and felt as if my heart was going to explode--I couldn't even speak anymore. I then talked to a friend who gave me some Xanex to ease the physical symptoms. It helped a lot and this past December I graduated from a Big Ten college, landed an amazing job in Baltimore, and moved to Maryland without knowing ANYBODY. I just finished my first week, and here I am crying on a Saturday night...I just don't understand. My first week went well, with the exception of a conference I attended in Philadelphia in which when I had to stand up and introduce myself along with what I do...I politely excused myself and ran out of the room griped with fear. I was SO embarrassed. I DO NOT want this anxiety to control my life, yet I am afraid to continuously take medicine. I want to believe that my move to a new state has not been a wrong one. I am having a hard time meeting people, especially coming from a lively partying college, where meeting people was easy. I have a wonderful family, friends, and boyfriend. However, I feel so incredibly alone at times. Sometimes a helping hand, or a kind word can change somebody's life...and perhaps somebody has done this for you. I hope that we can all begin to help each other to realize we are not alone. Thank you for listening!
God Bless.
Magen

Oh Hun, You are not alone!!! I am so sorry that you are having to go through this! I know how you feel though about moving to another state and not knowing anyone at all.
Hi, Magen! Welcome to our caring community. Although it doesn't seem like it now, you will learn to live with anxiety. It does take some time to get your life back. These fears are learned behaviors. You can un-learn them. In most cases, people with anxiety disorders have a flaw in their chemistry. Research has shown that meds in combination with therapy will benefit 80% of people that choose that route.
Therapy is not an admission that you're crazy. It is not revealing deep, dark secrets & years & years of analysis. You can choose to deal with the *here & now.* You will learn to identify your triggers(I learned how I set myself up for panic when driving) & learn new ways to cope with your fears & anxieties. As for meds, you are right. Taking xanax is a short term solution. It is an addictive med & also it is against the law to take another person's meds in the US. Many people benefit from taking antidepressant meds. I have taken many different meds over my 36+ year history. Currently, I am not taking any meds, as I am coping well. I took xanax & klonopin on a short term basis in the past.
If you haven't had a good physical exam & haven't been professionally diagnosed with anxiety, please consider doing so. There are medical illnesses that can mimic anxiety disorders. Once you get a confirmed diagnosis, you can get some reassurance & also, your dr. can direct your plan of treatment.
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(((Magen))) I'm so happy to hear your first week was a success!
Sheri Ann