what is the deal here?????
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| Thu, 03-29-2007 - 11:04am |
I have been feeling great up until recently. I went to see my therapist yesterday, i go every other week, and told her that i had been feeling panicky lately and that i noticed it was always around my period but that its been gone over a week and i am still feeling alot of anxiety and panicky symptoms. She said it could be because i missed a few pills last week, but it was only like 2 and they werent even 2 days in a row it was spread through out the week. She also thinks it may be my bf, we have been together a year now and he is great, but it seems like the longer we have been together the more controlling he has gotten. i recently found my biological father and so i have been going to see him and his family atleast once a week for the past month now. it has been quiet interesting, but fun too, i havent told my mother yet only because i know she would be crushed and verymad that i even want to get to know him, but she has good reason to feel this way and i understand this. im sure i would feel the same if it were switched around, but my bf gets so mad whenever i go over there. im not sure if its cause im not with him or what but he tries to give me a curfew on when i need to be home from his house and also my father has a step son that i have grown very close to, were the same age maybe thats why and we can relate to alotta situations well, and my bf is so so jelous of him, he doesnt let me hang out with him alone and if i do and dont tell him before i do he flips out. I work at a Hair salon and am going to school to get my cosmotology liscence so i like to change the color of my hair alot, he hates it, he always tells me to how he loved my hair the way it was and he blames to people i work with for me wanting to change my natural color. he hates when i wear make up or dress nice to go out when im not with him. He goes through my clothes and picks out my skirts and dresses and tells me i cant wear them when ijm not with him. i know he has good intentions and loves me, i just dont think he sees this. the way he is acting, friends of mine have tolld him to stop or i will leave and he just blows it off and says hes not like that. we have gone to my therapist together and i thought maybe that wouold help. it helped for maybe a few days, but now hes doing the same thing. we shopped online at victoria's secret and i got a cute dress and he paid for it but hes like you arent allowed to wear it without me. i dont know how to change him and show him what he is doing to our relationship and to me. he wants a baby and to get married and i would love to too. But he has to change his ways. he doesnt get why i have these panic attacks and get so anxious and i didnt either, i even posted it a few days ago. but the more i look at the things he says and tries to tell me i can see maybe why i have been feeling this way..
does anyone have any advice on what i can do???
any replies that would help are greatly appreciated.
thank you for listening.
<3melissa

hi melissa,
well....i don't like to "stick" my nose in other's people's buisiness...but since you asked ...LOL:)
i'm going to be brutally honest okay...
One of the things I learned when I came down with my anxiety/panic was to just go with what feels good. I was bending over backwards for everybody else and not thinking of myself or my well being at all.
I can see two big reasons in your post why your anxiety would be kicking up:
1. Finding your biological dad and renewing ties with him. That's a really big deal. I know you are happy about it, and that's great, but you are also hiding it from your mom, so you must be feeling bad about that on some level.
2. Your relationship with your bf. He is very controlling and you have every right to resent it. If he's like this now, after one year, I can't imagine what would happen if you take the relationship further.
I would sit down and seriously think about how you feel about these situations. You can even journal it, write down your options. What can you do that would make things better for you?
Melissa, it sounds like you are in a very unhealthy relationship.
Sheri Ann