make me stop!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
make me stop!!
7
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 8:00pm

Hi there.

I am hoping to get some releaf from my anxiety attack. I think I told my "new" friend way too much about my issues. Something was bothering me, I told her in the best way I could. I felt like I couldn't express my feelings to her, and then I felt like she was mad at me. I know she wasn't, but in my anxious mind, I thought she was. I feel like I was searching for a response from her that I wasn't getting. Then when I wasn't getting it, I went on and on trying to find another way for me to get reassurance.

I guess I am just upset at myself because I shared way too much about all my anxiety stuff. She is a new friend and I really like her. Her daughter and my son love each other. I felt like I couldn't let it go, and now she thinks I am a nut case. My mind is racing and "fantasising" about her telling everyone how crazy I am. I am sure she could care less, but I am so worried that she doesn't want to be my friend any more. I really want to call her again, but I know I need to leave it alone. I know she wasn't mad, and is a very honest person.

I wish I could let it go, and not put her on such a pedestal. Why do I think she is soo much better than me? Who knows. I feel like I ruin so many friendships because of my ruminating and constant searching for the right "tone."

Oh well, thank you for reading. I don't want to call her again, but my nerves might get the best of me. It's like my therapist says "learn to live with not knowing."

xo, JD

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2005
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 8:33pm

hi

unfortunately this is a common feeling. what is fortunate is that most people today are more understanding of anxiety problems than those of yester year. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you really like her my best advice would be to have a frank discussion with her. Try as best as you can to explain how you felt. Ask her if she was offended in anyway by your actions. I think you'll be surprised at her reactions and understanding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 9:16pm

Jolie, please don't call her about it again.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 9:43am

Thank you. How do I go about "living with it?" She never called me back, and now I am worried even more. I feel like I want to say something, but I know better. I am always searching for that reassurance or "tone" that someone still wants to be my friend, or that someone still likes me. It's awful. Sometimes I feel like I need to crawl into a hole and just be by myself. This way, I can't make anyone mad and I won't worry about everyone else. I always think if I could just be a B*^!H, then everyone would like me more. Everyone seems to have more respect for people who are not nice.

Thanks for always giving me great advice. I love diariah of the mouth. I, too, suffer from it.

xo, Jolie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 11:16am
sigh....i can relate!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 10:29am
Just remember, it is a very busy time of the year, with Easter coming up tomorrow!

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2007
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 4:18pm
Hi...((big hug)) u r not alone...I am going through something similar.....for me personally I just want to know that someone cares and that I'm not alone and that reassurance that everything will be ok....I am learning from my therapist to find "safe" people to share my anxiety problem with....I have found that a hard process....but this message board has helped me...and I do feel safe sharing here :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: jlvst
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 6:26pm

I couldn't agree more. I am waaaay to trusting, and my problem is that I want everyone to like me. I need to realize that not everyone will like me, just like I won't like everyone. The thing is, I am still very nice to the people who I don't care for.

Have a great weekend.

Jolie