Getting Married/Moving out

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Getting Married/Moving out
4
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 10:40pm
Hello all. Just wondering if I'm the only one out there with this problem. I am 28 years old and still live at home with my family. (Mom, Dad, sister, brother, 2 dogs, and 2 cats...lol) I am the first born and very close with my family. My mom is my best friend. I have never moved away from home before, I went to a college close to home. Now that I am getting married in January I have found my self having panic attacks at night about moving out of my home. They seem to be getting worse and worse to the point that I am up all night worried about it. I get a lump in my throat, my heart races, I have an increased resperation rate. I feel like I am nuts. I look around my room and think to myself I will no longer live here pretty soon and then it all starts. Is it normal to feel this way? I love my FI very much and want to get married and have our own place, its just moving away from my home and family I am really having a problem with. Does anyone have any insight to give me to help me cope?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 7:21am
if this is your only trigger, count your blessings! what may be helpful is to realize that you're making 2 major life changes bound to cause stress (even though they may be good stress) try to look at it as excitement rather than fear. you're not alone & your age is when a lot of women start with anxiety problems, but if you can nip it in the bud, maybe it won't be that bad. best wishes!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2005
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:00am
Hi and welcome!! I totally agree with duranny ---
major life changes! LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE I am sure even
though you are VERY CLOSE to your mother you do not want to spend
your life living at home!!??? THANK YOU STARS FOR THIS WONDERFUL
MAN you are about to marry!! Add to the grateful list a wonderful
mother you are very LUCKY! Turn these negative thought OFF and
realize you are nervous about the wedding and marriage and it is
transferred to this !! TAKE TIME TO RELAX and talk positive to
yourself!! GOOD LUCK! Judy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 11:43am

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Hello! It's great to have you on board:)


I am sorry to hear about the panic attacks. Major life changes can really throw us for a loop. If you feel that you need help with the upcoming changes, how about talking with a therapist? It doesn't mean you're crazy. It doesn't mean you have to share deep dark secrets for years & years. Just short term therapy to *talk it out* & gain some insight & perspective from a professional. Many of us seeking help for our anxiety disorders have found this is a viable option. A therapist can help you to identify behaviors that you can change & also give you a hand @ learning new ways of coping.


I think the advice you have been given is *spot on.* Count your many blessings. You have a joyous event coming. A good man to share your life with. A family you are close too & can count on for love & support. I have read that it takes 11 good thoughts to overcome 1 negative. When you begin thinking about leaving home & the sadness, write a list of positive things about being married. Refer to that list when you need too. I use belly breathing & daily meditation when I panic. Have a look @ our *coping tips & tricks* folder below. You can find some techniques to teach yourself to get through the anxiety.


We wish you all the best in your married life. We care & know that anxiety can be overcome. You deserve a good life & you shall have it! GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 8:33pm

This is one of the biggest steps in your lifetime, you have every right to be nervous!

Sheri Ann