Well, not so good...
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| Wed, 04-11-2007 - 1:41pm |
Well, okay, so my naturopath and I agreed instead of me having a set schedule to go in there right now that I come in a couple afternoons a week to hang out and observe and help them until I get comfortable...she says there is no pressure to come in they just want me to be comfortable which just says what great people they are, but it made me realize that I think I need more therapy than what I am getting. My psychiatrist is great, and I have a wonderful therapist who I have not seen since December because of money issues and my naturopath is also a minister and does counseling herself, but I am thinking that I need to go back to my therapist...I am blessed enough to have a wonderful stepfather who is willing to send me the money to see her when I need to...I was supposed to go in to the naturopath yesterday at 10 in the morning to start training and I totally flipped out....I know me and I need to start with baby steps, and right now its even hard for me to go out to the grocery store even though I make myself do it, i think its more of having a schedule to stick to that bothers me...I like having not to worry about being somewhere at a certain time and especially with the chronic fatigue which i never know how I am going to feel until I wake up in the morning its nice to know that if I need to rest for part of the day, i can do that...but I have a real problem with having a set schedule lol...so I thought it would be good to make myself go in there one or two afternoons a week and work up to a "schedule" as I get more comfortable...I am thinking about doing some more hypnotherapy too, possibly some regressional hynotherapy to figure out some things which is a little scary to me...but does this sound good to anyone else? I just feel like an idiot because I can't handle something as simple as a schedule right now, but I can't be freaking out on people either lol....so just let me know I am not a weirdo and that will make me feel better...the real challenge is going to be making myself go in there lol but I know I have to...but anywho that is what happened with the job yesterday....thanks for letting me vent about it!!
Krista

You have a great opportunity, Krista, to get into the swing of your new job that others do not. Take advantage of this opportunity & use the small steps. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself. If you don't think you can make it for 2 hours, then just go until you feel uncomfortable, but not panicking, then leave. That is how I began driving again. If I didn't do as well as I wanted, I forgave myself. We can be our own worst enemies & set our goals too high, only to fail. Take it as it comes.
Do you feel you're improving? Are you coping better since last seeing your therapist? I know that therapy is expensive. I have to pay for mine & it's a bite out of the budget. However, there are times I know that I need it more than not. That it isn't a matter of money. I cannot put a price on my health. Physical or emotional. KWIM? GL to you! Keep in touch. You will regain your footing. You have all the necessary skills in place. (((hugs))) jan