Help new here cant take this anymore

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Help new here cant take this anymore
13
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 6:44am
My husband left 6 weeks ago he is bi polar he left us in financial crisis I do have a child here. I get anxiety attacks when my life spirals like this they are constant now I cant function at all I am so depressed but have no money for meds I did apply for state health aide but that takes awhile I cant even go hour by hour I am a mess what will happen to us?? I cant sleep I dont eat I can feel the anxiety eating me up all inside I try to function but am barely doing that. Please help me

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2003
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 7:39am
Hi. I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. I know that when you are stressed, anxiety probably goes into overload, at least it does for me. Have you spoken with a therapist about your financial situation? Currently, I am between jobs, we are trying to move, and my husband is working an overnight job that doesn't pay real well so that he is free for interviews in the mornings and afternoons. I explained this situation and the resulting financial strain to my therapist, and she has offered me a discount rate due to it. I also think in some areas there may be mental health centers that either offer a sliding scale or are free to those in need. This may be something you may want to look into.
Also, my therapist suggested taking Benadryl when you are too stressed to sleep at night. I use that as a last resort. Usually, I try to take a nice warm bubble bath, read for a little while, and get my mind off things when I am anxious at night. If all of that doesn't work, then I usually take Benadryl because I generally tend to be better during the day. Keeping a journal also helps me.
Also, have you looked into medical programs that cover your medications if you cannot afford them? They have the commercials for them on television sometimes and the companies are pretty good about getting the medications to you quickly. While I am between jobs and only have insurance for medical emergencies or major problems that come up and no prescriptions are covered, I am getting my medication free. Your doctor has to sign something stating that your financial situation does not allow you to afford the medications at the current time and some require that you provide documentation of pay (stub, etc.), but once that is completed and you send the forms off, it does not take too long to get the medication after that.
Another possibility if you are put on medication is to try something that has a $4 generic at WalMart. I tried switching from Effexor XR to generic Celexa to do this before applying for the free medication program and the generic Celexa did not work for me, but different medications effect people differently so it may be a possiblity for you if your doctor recommends it. I think they also have generic Prozac and Paxil as well for $4 there.
I hope some of these suggestions work, and I am sorry you are having such a hard time right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 1:19pm

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Hi! Please make yourself @ home in our caring community. You have been through alot & I am very sorry to hear about the posistion you're in. Major upsets like this have been

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 5:43pm

(((hugs))) I am sorry to hear about

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 6:01pm

You've gotten some good ideas from the other ladies. May I give a couple suggestions. Your town may offer a free service that will help to lower your intrest on such things as credit cards and loans , I know being in financial straights can be overwhelming. Your town may also offer a free health clinic where you would be able to see a doctor, they are usually well known doctors in town that donate their time. When I first started having trouble I went to the free clinic and they refered me to a mental health center that was based on income , since I had no income I pay nothing. I was also refered to a place that provides some of my medication free of charge. Good Luck and I hope you find the help you need.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:34am
Thank you for all your info I was amazed at the replies I got I actually went to bed tonite only slept 2 hours but to go to sleep so early without panic can you believe it? I did make an appt with my primary care physician for today thursday to see about something generic to help. There isnt alot available for health or financial care in RI I have called everywhere there is such a huge need its overwhelming the lists are so long for housing its 2-8 yrs. YOur advice was very helpful and comforting thank you so much
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:40am
Jan your suggestions were heartfelt I clung to the one today about not looking at the whole picture because for me there is so much so immediate and such a need. I did as much as I could do today I did alot of cleaning out things and making phone calls to drs and things I ran errands I did well till now it is 12:40 am. But I got thru today I hate facing tommorrow but....I will have to.
Doreen
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:43am
Thank you Sherri Ann just knowing someone listened helped I was amazed. My oldest daughter and all my grandbabys live in NC. Thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 12:47am
Thank you so much for reading my post. We dont have free clinics here but do have sliding scale ones that may help me. Also all the bills are in my husbands name so I can do nothing without him only pray they get paid somehow. We had been to a credit counseler but he didnt do anything. Its the current bills are my concern now and the rent mostly.
Thanks
Doreen
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2006
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 1:03am
my dear friend,
If you are having that rough of a time there other ways to get help. I don't know if you have a church that you attend or not. But alot of churches will help pay for food and help with medicines. If all else fails I would go to a church you feel comfortable with and ask for some help. They will set you up with a couselor to talk with, give you food and can give you gift cards for gas and sometimes they will give you phone cards. When we were hit with a hurricane two years ago we needed help until insurance could step in and help. We were told to go to the churches and they helped us with just about everything. I hope you find this helpful and I wish you lots of luck. I will keep you in my prayers as well. ~Deborah~
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 11:02am

I went through disfunctioning panic attacks because of my disfunctional students and I resigned from teaching because it was all related. Unless you are trained to deal with mental disorders, you were working out of love and obligation, for better or for worse, but love will exhaust you more than anything else. There are times when love, as endearing as it is, is not enough. Maybe your husband loved you so much he didn't want to hurt you anymore. Obviously you are in the heart of a negative situation, but, I can tell you it appears the worst that could happen, has already.

Are you willing to admit you need rest? Because that's what you are about to get, believe it or not. You are exchanging one problem for another, but your current situation, objectively, is a little lighter. The days when nothing seems to work out, just stop and take a nap, read, or watch something funny on television. I was on meds for a while, but I was really spacey around people, to get off, laughter truly served as the best medicine. I also learned that collectors and society were not trying to be harsh with me, I was being harsh on myself b/c "I couldn't pay on time." When I let it all go, I actually started talking to my bill collectors with ease and a good attitude. I told them "I don't have it, but I'm going to get it." After a while, I got comfortable with my situation and even though my leasing agent hadn't been paid in months, she was concerned about me and even took money off my tab. Attitude is everything.

Honestly, I think you may be headed for something better, but it's always darkest before dawn. These dark times can be beneficial, though. It makes us have to research ways that others and the government can help us. Then we have to set pride aside and let them help completely.

Be honest, do you feel a tiny load has been lifted since your husband's departure? At first anxiety is the worst after the incident but you'll calm especially since anxiety will never solve anything. The Bible says, "How will worrying add one cubic measure to the span of your life?" It's rhetoric, but try answering it. It won't make sense and neither will worrying.

Think of what could happen to rectify your situation--moving, staying, legal mediation, parental help--what would make you feel better from this point on? (Don't think "Well, if he never left.."). Think of the steps that you can take to make it better, or think of the different ways that you can wait and rest as people find a solution for you.

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