will it ever end?
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| Wed, 06-13-2007 - 2:18am |
I have had a people phobia since I can remember, every one called it just being shy back then. I'm 26 and cannot seem to handle a job, the stress just gets to me I guess. The stress of the work but more so the stress of being around the people. I haven't worked since Jan 2004. I am trying to work at home doing web design however even that is hard for me to do. I am so depressed that I constantly think about death. I have been living on sleeping pills the last couple of weeks because my mind just will not stop thinking. I just don't care any more. My bf (I've lived with for 7 years, terrific guy) does all of the shopping and going out for things because I cannot do it. We are barely making it and I feel like such a bum all the time because I cannot make money. When I lived at home, growing up I was called lazy (mom called us lazy pigs all the time.) Now, as an adult I still think of myself a lazy pig-the dishes aren't washed usually, clothes aren't washed, the bathroom hasn't been realllly cleaned in forever and I just don't care about anything anymore. I used to love taking pictures but I've gotten out of that-I hate people seeing me do things, I guess because it makes me feel human or something. My design business sucks because I just cannot get it together to design things anymore. I'm at the end of my rope-all I want to do is sleep because it stops me from thinking.
As for the doctor, it is too expensive. Even the sliding scale ones are too expensive. So I am hopeless about that. I'm stuck. I've been stuck all my life and don't know what to do. I'm depressed because I have no life and it is because of my phobia of going outside. I didn't know where to post this, depression of anxiety because I have both. I've been here before but it doesn't help. I've lived with this since I can remember and just don't know where to go or what to do. I don't want to live this way anymore. I just suck!
I don't grumble to anyone about this except my bf. So, now y'all get to hear it! :-)
Help!

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Hi! Welcome to our caring community. I am very sorry to hear how you are living. You certainly deserve better. Noone can help you until you make the decision to help yourself. There was a time many years ago that I was in your shoes. I had pretty much painted myself
I actually do group and individual therapy. I like group a lot, but it did take me a little while to get used to it and be able to talk about myself. I just started by listening, then I would slowly add my own comments to what others were saying. After a while I was comfortable enough to share my story. And let me tell you, it felt great and it really helped with my shyness and nervousness. It's also ok to just let the group know if you're feeling nervous and don't want to talk. Let me know if you have any more questions about group therapy in general because I have been doing it for a year now.
Candice
Hi & welcome!
Sheri Ann
One of the worst weeks I've had in a long time and then something happens yesterday evening that puts it at the worst of the worst.
I am a web designer. On one of the most looked at message board threads (on another site) I am having someone tells out right lies about me, and then her board 'friends' all gang up on me. They don't even know me. They are seeing her side of things, which she has completely lied about most of it, and now the 5 years it took me to build up my business this one woman has ruined my reputation as a designer. It literally has made me completely sick. I just can't handle this one more thing-I was too the point already where I didn't think I was going to make it and now this. The one thing that I was hanging on for, to help us make some extra money every once and a while and this has ended that. I give up trying anymore. I just can't handle stress...
I've made the doctors appointment but it isn't until the 25th. That feels so long away, this is going to be a hard week to get through!
I am sorry to hear about this setback. Try to focus on the positives in your life. Don't allow the opinion of others to bring you down. Work hard @ buliding your business back up. Surely not everyone has followed this vindictive woman. Hang in there until that appointment. (((hugs))) jan
Hi! You are very welcome here. I feel that you are strongly motivated to change & that's great. It won't be easy, but as everyone who posts to this board, noone has a perfect anxiety-free life on a daily basis. We have to clebrate the small stuff. See the positive rather than the negatives.
Please keep posting. Let us know how that appointment goes. You CAN do this. Keep yourself safe. We care & want the best life possible for you. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan
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