Mothers Day

Avatar for booplady44
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mothers Day
6
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:34am

I hope all the moms on the board had a wonderful Mothers Day! Normally I have a very difficult time with holidays of any sort but yesterday wasn't too bad. My oldest dd had a panic attack early in the day and told me about it just before we all left to go out to eat. That put me a little on edge. She had that "deer caught in the headlight look" but was a trooper through dinner in a crowded restaraunt. I did pop a good panic attack in the middle of the night but dh woke up and we got me calmed down fairly quick. I think it was because I was worried about dd.


I really think the Dr Claire weekes book is helping me handle the anxiety and panic. I'm not sure I quite understand what she means by accepting and floating but I'm working on it.

BOOP


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-1998
In reply to: booplady44
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 12:17pm

Happy belated Mother's Day back at ya! I, too, have a terrible time with holidays of all kinds, so feel for you there.

I love Dr. Weeke's methodology. She has absolutely changed my life over the past year. My take on accepting and floating is that you have to find a way to remove the mental end of your anxiety (don't feed the beast by adding unhelpful thoughts) and just feel the physical effects of the anxiety. My motto became "what is, not what-if" by which I meant that if there was no actual physical threat causing the attack, I had to realize that the attack was just feelings and not over-think it from there. Does that make any sense?

Here's something I did to accept and float too- it sounds silly, but it really did/does work for me. When I feel that awful sickening, heart-pounding sensation and I realize there is no tangible, in-the-moment threat causing it, I imagine those little toe fungus monsters from the medication commercials on TV- do you know the ones I'm talking about? I think they call him "Digger the toe fungus" and he's come to represent my anxiety monster. I take a little time out and just sit quietly and say to myself, "Those little B******s just flipped the switch again." From there i just let myself feel the physical sensations without trying to justify or rationalize any thoughts or fears- instead I just see it as little anxiety monsters flipping the switch as if the evil little buggers are playing tricks on me and electrifying my nerves. I tell myself that I am stronger than they are and that I can sit quietly and wait them out- however long that takes (I think the first time I sat quietly for the better part of 2 weeks)

For me, if I try to rationalize a worry away by thinking it through, that just temporarily presses the anxiety back. I learned that, for myself, worrying was actually a distraction technique from my underlying anxiety. As long as I was still allowing myself to put reasons to the anxiety and try to solve or rationalize them away I couldn't actually deal with the anxiety. That was because my ability to rationalize the anxiety away would stop it very quickly for the short term, but then it would be back within hours- at which point I would start trying to rationalize with fears again, and the cycle would continue.

Sorry- I kind of got rattling on there! Hope you don't mind and hope you are feeling pretty good today.

Vickie

Avatar for booplady44
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
In reply to: booplady44
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 1:59pm

Vickie,


I have also noticed that if I try to rationalize my anxiety away it leaves for awhile and comes back.

BOOP


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: booplady44
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:14pm
Good idea, Vickie! Thx for sharing. I will have to add it to my repertoire! Happy belated Mother's Day to you, too! (((hugs))) jan

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: booplady44
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:16pm
Happy belated Mother's Day to you too!
I hope you praised your dd for being a trooper. That's awesome that she forged ahead. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-1998
In reply to: booplady44
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 5:45pm

Boop, how long have you been trying to accept and float? It takes a while to reprogram things. In the book of Dr. W's I have she said it averages about 3 months for the "hot flashes of panic" to subside, once you learn to use the technique. Though she emphasis that people are individuals and no one size fits all, I still marked that on my calendar just to judge how things had changed in 3 months! Things were definitely better in 3 months, but the hot panic was still occurring regularly. I'd say it was probably 5-6 months of constantly stopping myself in mid-thought and just focusing on trying to go into the sensation and accept it, before it noticeably subsided and the panic attacks were weaker, not lasting as long, and oddly not bothering me so much while they were happening.

I also have some of my worst panic at night. I wake up with my heart pounding- is that how it is for you too? Ugh, that's awful. I don't know which Dr. W book you have, mine is an out of print one on agoraphobia, so I don't know what's in her others. Anyhow, in that one she talks about novelty and it's effect on anxiety- that if you change things around you to make things more interesting, it can break some of the triggers for anxiety. She even suggests things as mundane and rearranging bedroom furniture, putting different sheets on the bed, buying new night clothes, etc. Just anything so that when you wake up, things are a little different than the usual things that greet you upon waking.

My young DD was not sleeping well a few months ago, so I moved into her room on the floor for a few weeks. The quality of sleep was miserable, but because the surroundings were familiar, but still different from my usual morning rut, I had almost none of that waking panic. Now if I fear I'll have problems, I move out to the livingroom for a few nights. Strange as it sounds, that sometimes helps- providing your sleeping area feels warm and comforting to you.

Early in my anxiety work, I also followed her advice not to stay in bed if insomnia and panic set in during the night. She recommended getting up and slowly going about some business. That meant there were a few nights early on when I'd be up for the day at 2:30 am. I'd get up, eat something, watch some TV, knit or read... just quietly and slowly killing time. I definitely did much better on those days. 4:30am became my wake up time for many months, but now it's gotten closer to 6am! It's important to always be gentle and loving toward yourself and remember that any given day doesn't dictate the long term- things will change if you give them time and learn those CBT techniques.

Hugs, stick with it and don't give up. It does work, but it takes the time that it takes for you.

There I went with the long windedness again... :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: booplady44
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 2:03pm
I like your longwindedness! I learn a lot of useful info. Thx, Vickie! (((hugs))) jan

gem21uk