Full attack this morning

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Full attack this morning
12
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:59am

Woke up with my first real attack in a while this morning. I've had a couple "controlled" panic attacks in the last few weeks, but this is the first real one, with actual panic-I'm-gonna-die feeling and not just some physical symptoms. It was short-lived, but intense.

Trying to ferret out the cause. My mind was pretty busy yesterday. I got thinking about career and kids stuff, and then my plane concerns when I woke up at 4am. I let my mom read the entries, and she said just reading them made HER want to have a panic attack.

So I guess I was thinking too much last night?

Don't know. Bad timing. I was going to quit my .25mg Klonopin tonight, and I'm taking the train down to NYC Wednesday morning, staying at the apartment 2 nights (and therefore by myself mornings), and then flying to Orlando.

Not good timing at all. :(




Edited 5/10/2010 11:00 am ET by lily_rose_fae

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:30pm
Too much thinking & too many things on your plate, probably. I hope that you'll be able to recover quickly & move forward w/your plans. It does seem that anxiety rears it's ugly head @ the most inconvenient times. Sometimes I have suspected that mine is kind of self-sabotage or... a justification for avoiding something I really didn't want to do in the first place. Many of us are too critical of ourselves. It's easy to place the blame on *us.* I tell myself to start again & forgive myself.
Hope you're feeling better by now. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:42pm
Jan what did you mean by a justification?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 4:50pm
Deep down inside, I didn't really want to do this or that. So, my body reacts by panicking. Then, I have an *excuse* for not going through w/what I didn't want to do in the first place. Some ppl may not agree, but the truth hurts. I have set myself up for panic. I don't like it, nor do I like to admit it. But... I have): (((hugs))) jan

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 4:59pm
Maybe that has been my problem.
Avatar for booplady44
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 8:09pm
I think Jan has a very good point. I'm sure alot of

BOOP


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 10:37pm
Say you get a panic attack from flying. Sure you don't want to do it but it is a means to get somewhere so you have to do it or drive or take a plane.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 1:37pm

Hi lily rose fae,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 10:53pm

Thanks for the replies everyone. Fortunately, this seems to have been an isolated attack. Haven't had another one, including this morning which was my first night back in NYC and my second night off the Klonopin.

Lindabeth57 - I was down to .25mg, just once before bed. I'm pretty sure I know why I had the attack that morning, and I didn't have anything else after, so I went ahead and stopped taking it Tuesday night. Part of my motive for stopping it is that I am flying tomorrow night and want to be able to take an Ativan if I need it (flying is usually panic-inducing for me). Plus I was supposed to stop last week but had a very rough day after trying a glass of wine and stopping the Klonopin for the first time, so kept it a few more days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 2:58pm
I admit it's unfair): Why should other ppl simply breeze through life & never think or feel what we do? It's a puzzle. I have had a good long spell w/out my anxiety or panic. Then, the other day I went for a ride w/my parents in their new car. They took us to get an ice cream & to visit my aunt & uncle. I wanted to scream *let me out of here!* I didn't have a good time. I was impatient to get home. A few times I even thought about walking.(it was MILES to my home) It should have been a *fun* time. I should have enjoyed myself. My dad was so proud of the car since he has always had trucks for his business. The visit w/relatives should have been a happy time. My aunt kept hugging me & telling me how pretty I looked. It annoyed me. I didn't hold up my end in the conversation since I was thinking about the drive home & how I would make it w/out having a free-for-all panic attack. OMG! I was soooo angry w/myself!
Then... I rode w/my dad again. He wanted to show me some features on the car & he took a turn through the State park. I LOVE that drive. But, I did not): I have had this happen before. I know it will take time to move past this setback. I have actually thought about calling the dr. to go back on meds, but am dragging my feet cause I think this will pass. It is MISERABLE! I hate anxiety/panic! It has been 40 years for me. I know I have had many more good years than bad. But, I am very negative now & not able to look @ the positive side. My headaches. I'm short tempered. I'm avoiding ppl & places. Today my life sucks & I never use that word): I'm a real downer. Sorry): jan

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 05-14-2010 - 3:09pm

"We fool ourselves so much we could make a living at it!"

YEP! It's trickery, fer sher;) It's a mind game w/that dang anxiety bug! (((hugs))) jan


gem21uk

 

 


 



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