Is this anxiety?
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|Sat, 05-15-2010 - 4:40pm|
I apologize in advance for being wordy, or not making sense. Hopefully I can articulate what's going on in my head. Over the past year and a half or so, I've developed an issue with what I THINK is anxiety/panic, but I don't know enough about it to be sure. Generally speaking, a few things have happened to me where I've taken the situations to extremes. Two examples:
- I was visiting my parents last year when I found condoms in my dad's travel bag on accident. I'm pretty sure my parents haven't had sex in 20+ years (I've always suspected my mom had little to no sex drive), and my dad has been traveling for his job for many of those years. There was a time when I was a teenager and saw my mom find condoms in another bag of his, give them a strange look, and then throw them away. So I suspect she knows, or that maybe they have an unspoken agreement. I confronted him about the condoms because I was so panicked about it and we had a little heart to heart where he said nothing happened, and that he loves me and my mother. I felt better after I talked to him, and after I posted on another board here. But every now and then, I get completely messed up over it again to the point that I could go days without eating. I can't tell what triggers it. And here is the disturbing part...my mind gets so consumed by it that I've caught myself looking through his other things, trying to get into his email, etc to see if there's anything suspicious. I don't know why I can't seem to let it go. Even typing this makes me feel like scum because I know I'm invading his privacy in a big, big way.
- About a year and a half ago, I started not feeling well and displayed some symptoms, which I made the mistake of Googling. Which, of course, never leads to anything good. All of the results said cancer so I immediately made an appointment with my doctor. He did a few tests just to be sure, and things came back normal. But for whatever reason, I was still panicked and sought out second and third opinions, and even pushed for more tests that they didn't think I needed. I ended up spending so much time reading bad things on the internet, and shelling out money for more tests that came back normal. Again, the situation was something that took over my mind and I couldn't do anything but constantly worry, not eat, etc.
Are feelings like this something people who deal with anxiety/panic face? Or does it sound like something else? I've finally made an appointment with a psychologist next week so that I can talk it out with someone.
Edited 5/15/2010 4:50 pm ET by runway2009