I make no sense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
I make no sense.
5
Sun, 05-16-2010 - 9:09pm
It's true. My anxiety has settled down a lot in the last couple of weeks and I've been feeling pretty good. So last night I'm sitting in the LR when it occurs to me that I haven't had anxiety in a couple of days. Now, the big stressors in my life that triggered this round are still there, but I'm not worrying about them so much, feeling more confident about being able to handle them. But, I start to wonder over the fact that I'm not having anxiety. Then I'm starting to have anxiety over my lack of anxiety. THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!! Sometimes I think I go into anxiety mode as a way to avoid facing the actual issue that's bothering me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-1998
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 10:49am

Actually, to me that makes perfect sense- but I don't know if you think the same way I do. Anxiety has been such a constant in my life to date, that when it's missing, I get worried because I know it's coming back at some point... does that make sense? Not sure if it's the same for you, but I've had similar experiences.

Last summer when my anxiety was really bad, I just happened to be having a really good day. That evening I caught myself whistling while doing some household task and realized that I wasn't worrying or obsessing about any of the usual things. That realization of happiness caused a full blown panic attack. It later got me to thinking about a lifelong belief I held (so ingrained I hadn't thought much about it consciously), that any time I'm happy something bad is sure to happen. That's not true, it's just perspective, but the wrong perspective can be very persuasive. Actually I can now trace it back to a childhood situation with a family member who always tore me down any time I was happy--- in other words, I was conditioned to never be happy, so feeling good brings on anxiety. Weird stuff, huh?

Keep on keeping on!

Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 12:28pm

I call it the hiccup effect.

You know when you've had the hiccups for a long time & then when they're finally gone you don't realize it at first. Once you realize their gone, you don't believe it & sit around expecting the next hiccup at any moment - so strongly you believe you feel one coming on.

Just as with the hiccups the longer you go w/o a panic attack, the less you think about it & eventually you sort of forget about the whole ordeal.

Unfortunately with panic we can bring on our own panic attack when we realize we've been absent for a while ... but notice it, isn't a bit different, a little bit more controlled? Like you almost have the choice to busy your mind with something else and it just may go away quicker than one that came unannounced?

i.e. I don't think it makes 'no sense,' but instead it is completely natural.




"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng



"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
Avatar for booplady44
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 05-17-2010 - 7:14pm

I make no sense either!!

BOOP


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Sat, 05-22-2010 - 12:22am

Jess, it does make sense. The "bottom line" of anxiety is its FREE FLOATING nature which is often misunderstood. An analogy (albeit poor) is that when everything is going fine, even those who are not sufferers of anxiety, begin to wonder when the honeymoon is going to end. Note that verb I sneaked in there: WONDER. You see; those lucky guys and gals whose serotonin is not somewhat out of balance, they "wonder" about tomorrow." They THINK about it (not obsess about as do we - btw) and then they go on with enjoying the day. They don't DWELL on tomorrow as do we :-( Anxiety is INSIDE us - it is not contingent on winning the lottery or having perfect health.

Does this mean we cannot win our battles with this nefarious demon... Of course it does not mean defeat. Once we realize that anxiety is in a strange way very logical. (it does make sense) and once we are prescribed the right meds, we can begin to win more battles than we lose. An anxiety free week will some day morph into two anxiety free weeks and then three weeks of freedom.

Therefore, what I - the granddaddy of anxiety - do is: when things are good, I try to concentrate on that GOOD DAY - WITH M D's permission only, if the anxiety is starting to build, threatening to ruin my GOOD day or week, I take 1/2 a .5 mg clonozepam and then I do something - anything to distract myself. Is it easy - NO _ it's about as easy as lifting a 60 pound super bag of dog food... but, you know what, Jess? sometimes (not all for sure) with an extra umph we can hoist that sucker up on our shoulders.

Anxiety weighs us down with fear, but with that extra umph we at least attempt to lift it (the anxiety) up and throw it in the trash to bid it good riddance !

God bless you,
God bless all,
Manny

Though the war be not over, I am indeed winning skirmish after skirmish; battle after battle - for "if God b e with me, who can stand against me ?" certainly not these hells they call anxiety, depression, panic, and phobia. I mock them - paradoxical intention. http://www.fotothing.com/hamin/
Though the war be not over, I am indeed winning skirmish after skirmish; battle after battle - for "if God b e with me, who can stand against me ?" certainly not these hells they call anxiety, depression, panic, and phobia. I mock them - paradoxical in
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 6:16pm
(((Jess))) I like to think of us w/anxiety as being *normal* when we experience something like this. I get that blasted inner shaking when I am stressed. In fact, it has scared me so bad, that I have panicked. It will last for a few days & just like that, it is GONE! Do I celebrate? Do I rejoice? Nope! I panic because it is gone & there must be something wrong w/me. LOL
You make perfect sense. You will be ok. Just as the anxiety came & it took time to regain your balance. Now you will need time to regain your balance in the *un* anxiety state.
You said, "Sometimes I think I go into anxiety mode as a way to avoid facing the actual issue that's bothering me." That may be. But we're so good @ *wondering* that as my mom used to say, "don't wonder too far or you might get lost;)" Try to accept this & be happy. You're entitled to be happy. You went through the fire & earned your happiness. GL & GBU! jan

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