I just don't know anymore

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2009
I just don't know anymore
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 6:05pm
I love this board to start with it has alway been full of great advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 05-23-2010 - 6:29pm
WB! It's nice to have you here & hope that we'll continue to be a source of support for you.
It is known that depression walks hand-in-hand w/anxiety. Some of what you've said sounds like depression. It happens many times when we're pulled in too many directions, can't find our personal space & in a way feel trapped. It is possible that you need your meds changed. Can you mention that to the dr? Even an increase in the lexapro may be all it takes. Have you considered therapy? You need to get this all out. It's fine to vent here. We'll be glad to listen, but a professional is trained in being objective & giving the support you seem to be lacking from family & neighbors.
It is ok to say *no* & mean it. You can learn to do it w/out feeling guilty. You cannot change the world & as my old siggie said, you're not in charge of the universe. It's ok to put yourself first. It's alright to have YOUR needs met, then if there's time to spare & you feel like it, do for others. You might simply be burned out from all you do. Take a break. Don't answer the phone. Find something you like to do & do it. Carve out that all important *me* time. If you want to join a group or club, now's the time. Maybe exercising more would help. Join a gym or the Y.
You have come a very long way. Congrats! Remind yourself of that. You're a good & ok person who has needs. Fulfill those needs! GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan





iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 12:24am

You know, I have always heard that caring for elderly or infirm family members is one of the most stressful things a person can do. You are your own person, with your own life, so being pulled in multiple directions for the needs of others makes meeting your own personal needs and responsibilities that much more difficult. I think it's perfectly normal that you're having a more difficult time at the moment. I agree with Jan that what you're describing sounds like depression, a common problem for anxiety sufferers as well as people caring for aging parents. There are a lot of issues wrapped up in that role reversal, especially when your family is not pulling through to help. Therapy may be a good option for you. If nothing else, it would give you an allotted time each week that is all about you. Someone who's purpose in your life is to care about you and only you, to be on your side and help you in whatever way they can.

It makes me glad to hear that you can look back and see how far you've come. That's a good thing. It proves that you have the power to improve your own life. I have faith that you can continue to do so. Just don't think that you have to do it alone.