2 more days!!!

Avatar for booplady44
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Registered: 11-10-2003
2 more days!!!
5
Mon, 05-24-2010 - 7:51am

Two more days and I see the neurologist! I woke up this morning panicky! DH has an early dentist appt so am going to walk with a neighbor. I have been hanging on dh's coat tail and am anxious about him going to the dentist. Gotta toughen up here!!

BOOP


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
In reply to: booplady44
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 12:13am

Hopefully only 1 more day by the time you read this!! I wanted to post earlier, but had an unexpected visit from my FIL. Thank goodness the house is clean! I know how stressful those last couple of days can be before an "event". You'll get there, though. And here's the good news. In a day you'll know what you're dealing with, whether it's nothing or something or somewhere in between. Anxiety, as you know, is often exacerbated by the 'what if' worries, the unknowns, the maybes and could be's. Just knowing what you're dealing with will give you a focus and a purpose, whether it be acceptance or treatment or whatever. You won't have to wonder because you'll know with certainty and be able to act accordingly. You'll be in control again the moment you make the choice about how to deal with or handle whatever she has to tell you. I'm still believing and praying that there's nothing seriously wrong to face, but regardless, we're here for as long and as often as you need. ((((Hugs))))

Jess

Avatar for booplady44
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
In reply to: booplady44
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 8:21am

Jess, Yep its only

BOOP


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
In reply to: booplady44
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 8:57am

I'm sorry to hear that your Dh is being a poop head. You can tell him I said so. I have to wonder though if maybe he's experiencing a little anxiety of his own. Sometimes I forget that my husband has those kinds of emotions too. The fact that my performances in that arena spectacularly out shine his sometimes blinds me to the fact that even a normal, healthy level of anxiety regarding an unknown or scary possibility can be just as uncomfortable for those experiencing it. Dh gets incredibly testy when he's nervous about something.

Avoidance is often a symptom of anxiety, as we well know. I wonder if his avoidance of the paperwork is a symptom for him and you confronting him about it made him feel threatened, hence the taking it out on you in nasty ways. I don't know. It just sounds like a situation I could see my husband and myself in. I just try to remind myself that my dh loves and supports me most of the time, so when he's behaving like a butt there's probably something else going on with him. Not to say my behavior isn't a cause for frustration, but in the absence of other stressers, he generally handles it much better and more kindly.

When all else fails, I cook his favorite dinner, get him a card telling him how much I love and appreciate him and he is over come by guilt and apologizes for being a jerk. lol Is that manipulation? I'm not sure, but mama always said to kill 'em with kindness.

I hope your day passes quickly and I'll be thinking about you!!

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-1998
In reply to: booplady44
Tue, 05-25-2010 - 11:30am

Hi Gracie! You have my P&PT too. I tend to do the same kind of obsessing and getting stuck, so I can totally relate to your reaction.

Be gentle with yourself, and even if you are having trouble accepting the situation at hand, at least try to accept yourself as you are. It's okay to be scared, upset, etc. given the circumstances; remind yourself that it's okay to feel the way you do- it's actually exactly how you should feel given who you are and your past experiences. Accepting yourself, when the cards seem down (even if you can't seem to accept the situation), is surprisingly freeing.

Jess sure is right about men! I hadn't even thought about it until she mentioned it. Men are such closed up creatures, they do tend to bottle up their worries. I bet your DH is a lot more concerned for you than he is letting on.

Lots of hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: booplady44
Thu, 05-27-2010 - 4:17pm
Sometimes when we know for sure, even bad news decreases our anxiety. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan

gem21uk