Adios Amigas!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Adios Amigas!
6
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 1:00am

Just wanted to let you gals know I'll be off the board for the next week. Dh and I are headed downstate tomorrow to be with his grandfather while he has his chemo treatments this week. Then we'll be headed over to see my family for a couple of days before coming home. We should be back on the 7th. Prayers and positive thoughts for when we're with grandpa would be greatly appreciated. I feel like such a louse, but his illness makes me really anxious, so the Xanax is going with me.

I hope everyone has a calm week!

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 2:25am

Prayers and positive thoughts for when we're with grandpa would be greatly appreciated. I feel like such a louse, but his illness makes me really anxious, so the Xanax is going with me.

Dear Jess -

Do not heap guilt on yourself.

June 15, 2005, I was in a catastrophic near death auto accident - a head on collision at 55 mph each car - I don't even remember the hit nor even helicopter coming to take me to the TRAUMA unit at St Francis Hospital, Poughkeepsie, NY. I remember nothing, actually !v - but at first after the accident I felt enormous GUILT - I felt like like a louse - then daughter Beth simply said," Pop - it's called an ACCIDENT - not an ON PURPOSE."

Same - Jess - with u. You did not ask to have certain chemicals mess with your serotonin thus precipitating anxiety. You are going there. This per se is courageous !! Yes ? This means you are a valiant warrior. To view yourself as less is untrue and unproductive and anxiety generating poppycock ! Pop o Amy knows. been there; don that . Thus, we ALL salute u and wish u Bon Voyage.

P S - Jess, the fear u now have is so, so common among A P and Pers that I am going to repost my humble advice under a new topic for better visibility. That is how we all help one another - that support plus the Power of Prayer are the very air we breathe !

God bless you, dh, and grandpa. "Fear not... for If God be with you, who (what) can stand against you."

Manny

Though the war be not over, I am indeed winning skirmish after skirmish; battle after battle - for "if God b e with me, who can stand against me ?" certainly not these hells they call anxiety, depression, panic, and phobia. I mock them - paradoxical intention. http://www.fotothing.com/hamin/
Though the war be not over, I am indeed winning skirmish after skirmish; battle after battle - for "if God b e with me, who can stand against me ?" certainly not these hells they call anxiety, depression, panic, and phobia. I mock them - paradoxical in
Avatar for booplady44
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 05-31-2010 - 8:51am
Jess,

BOOP


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 06-02-2010 - 6:36pm
You're in my T&P's, Jess. So is grampa. I hope you have a relaxing time, but if you need the xanax, that's why it's there! Don't beat yourself up if you need it. GL & GBU! Happy trails:) (((hugs))) jan
PS We'll miss ya):

gem21uk

 

 


 



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:47pm

Thanks for this, Manny. It's a constant battle to accept that I am not in control of the fact that I have anxiety. It just frustrates me so much at times. I usually push myself to continue to do the things I want to do for family, to be there at times like these, but I still struggle with guilt when I can't and get angry with myself because the anxiety makes it all so difficult.

Thanks again for your support.

Jess

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:54pm

Thank you for your support! That sounded fairly political campaignish, didn't it? lol But truly, I really appreciate the encouraging words. The trip went pretty well. Grandpa was actually feeling pretty good for most of the week. He had us hopping, transplanting flowers, splitting hostas and lilies, washing windows, building a fence. He had a whole list for us. lol I haven't worked that hard in a long time. It actually served to give structure to our days, between preparing meals and getting things done. It also helped to keep my anxiety at bay.

Overall, it was a good trip. There's something incredibly relaxing about grandpa's house. There always has been, and his illness has not robbed it of that quality, so the trip was more relaxing than I thought it would be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:56pm

Thanks, Jan! As I posted to bettyboop, the trip went better than I thought it would. That's usually the case, isn't it? We build up the big bad thing in our minds and the reality can't match our imaginations. I really appreciate the P&PTs. It is comforting to know that others are praying for you.

Jess