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Registered: 08-21-2002
New Here
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 7:41pm

My name is Jen. I am 36 from Washington State and married to DH Jacob(30). We have been married for almost 2 years. I started having anxiety about 8 or 9 months ago when some stuff from Dh's past came back and we are dealing with court situations. The anxiety has been affecting my job. I

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
In reply to: chickofgrace
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 4:18pm
Welcome Jen,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
In reply to: chickofgrace
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 4:36pm

Hi, Welcome to the board. Sounds like alot of your anxiety is situational. Hopefully once the court stuff is over it will settle down. I hope things go OK for you on thurs. Thats really tough waiting and worrying. None of us do well at that.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, good luck on thurs.


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do, something to love and something to hope for.


Three grand essentials to life are...something to do

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Registered: 12-25-2004
In reply to: chickofgrace
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 2:20pm

I can only imagine the kind of stress you and your spouse must be under right now. It's not unusual to experience increased levels of anxiety during stressful life events. There are several things you can do to help your overall anxiety level, by reducing your stress level.

First off, exercise. Even a brisk 20 minute walk every day will help to burn off the excess adrenaline that anxiety produces, with the added benefit of increasing your endorphin level, which will help you to feel more emotionally stable. When you feel anxiety coming on, if feasible, go for a walk or run. Cardio is great for combating anxiety. Doing it outside is even better.

Make sure you are eating properly. Large fluctuations in your blood sugar levels can throw your natural body rhythm out of balance, causing you to feel shaky or lethargic, which can increase the occurrence of anxiety. Eating several small meals throughout the day is the best way to keep your blood sugar at a stable, steady level.

Deep breathing can also help you when you experiencing anxiety. Inhale deeply to a count of ten focusing on expanding your rib cage out to the sides, hold your breath for a count of ten, let it out half way and hold for a count of ten, then let it all out. Do this a couple of times in a row to help relieve anxiety and relax. Don't get carried away, though, as doing this exercise more than 2 or 3 times in a row can make you light headed. Many times, the onset of anxiety is related to our breathing patterns. When we're tense, we don't breath as deeply or completely as we need to, which can trigger anxiety. Practice this breathing technique a few times each day to retrain your body how to breath properly. Before long, when you're experiencing anxiety, you'll learn to check your breathing to make sure you're actually breathing correctly.

Finally, relaxation exercises can be a great help during stressful times. They help to reduce stress, which in turn help to reduce anxiety. One simple relaxation exercise is to lay on your bed or floor, flat on your back. Beginning with your face, tense and scrunch each muscle group as tightly as you can for a count of 10. Then relax it for a count of ten. Start at the head and work your way down to your feet, tensing and relaxing each muscle group in turn. If you can feel yourself carrying tension in one part of the body, repeat the exercise with that area. Some tips on tensing certain areas:
Push your head back into the floor to tense your neck.
Scrunch your shoulders up toward your chin to tense your shoulders and neck.
Push your shoulder blades back into the floor to tense your upper back and chest.
Push your thighs together to tense your upper thighs.
Fist your hands and push up toward the ceiling to tense your arms.

I hope one or more of these tips is useful to you. But most importantly, do not be afraid to get some help if the anxiety gets to be too much to handle. There are doctors and therapists out there who are trained to help those of us with anxiety learn to cope and manage our anxiety. You are not alone in this, and we're here for whatever support you need.

Take care, and I'll be thinking of you and praying for both you and your spouse this week.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: chickofgrace
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 5:23pm
Hi, Jen & welcome:) That's a shame that you've been through the mill, so to speak. I do hope that everything works out & you don't have to come home alone. But, we'll be here to listen & offer our support. I am sending P&PT's. Keep us posted.
It isn't unusual for anxiety to crop up during stressful times. Has your dr. considered changing your dosage of prozac or putting you on another med ? Though it's difficult to wait to get better, it's a fact that it takes about 3 tries for the dr. to get us on the correct med & dose. All meds affect each of us differently. Have you considered therapy? The combination of meds & therapy has a high success rate. One of the things I learned in therapy is how my behavior affected my anxiety. There were times that I actually triggered myself. It's good to open up to a professional. They are objective & supportive, when family/friends & even ourselves are not. We can be our own worst enemies;)
Be kind to yourself. Try to reduce the stress in your life. Exercise to burn off the excess. Get plenty of sleep. Find time for *you* to relax & do what you enjoy. Anxiety doesn't define you. You have the ability to allow it to control your life, a little, a lot or not @ all!
It's good to hear your boss is supportive. I hope that after this stressful time, you will be right as rain. GL & GBU! (((hugs))) jan