(((Hugs))) I don't have children, but have often thought about the possibility of passing on my anxious predisposition when we do have kids. I recognize that it's a possibility, but I also recognize that my experiences with anxiety and depression would help me understand and parent such a child. That makes me feel a bit better about it.
I hope you're able to let go of any guilt you're feeling. Like Jan always says, anxiety is an illness, just like diabetes or high blood pressure. You wouldn't feel guilty if you passed those along. Hurting for you child because they have to deal with it? Yes. Owning the guilt? No.
How's your daughter doing with it?
I'm right there with you :(
It would make sense her anxieties are high right now though. Who's wouldn't be? Graduating from college into this economy? Sheeze, I know around here to get a customer service job at a retail store requires a college degree now. i.e. after spending 4 hard years & a lot of money you can get a menial job that used to be given to high school students!
I just came up with an idea? What about mom & daughter going away on a 2-day meditation retreat? I just so happened to check out a DVD from the library yesterday of a retreat, that is where I just came up with the idea.... but it might be fun to go on a relaxing vacation w/DD and at the same time come home feeling more centered and tools to approach the next segment of life??
My 8 year old son suffers a lot of anxiety. It holds him back on so much from life. He will not even attempt to ride a bike. I've had him in swim for 10 months now & he still unable to get his face wet (he fears drowning). He fears choking so bad it's a nightmare to get him to eat anything. I've had him in occupational therapy and play/talk therapy and neither seemed to work. So I work on the small stuff. For example, we were in a car accident a few months back & the car hit right at his car door. Luckily we were in a steel box and received little damage while it totaled the other car - but now he has this obsession of getting into the car, buckling himself in, opening and shutting the car door, checking seatbelt & the open/shut the car door again.
So in a soft voice I explained to him the drivers panel will let us know if there is a car door that is not shut all the way. It took a week or so of reminding him of this & challenging him not to open his door. Then like on the 2nd day he didn't do this ritual my panel actually told me his door was opened, so I told him. Now he finally feels safe.
When he obsesses on things & starts asking me lots of questions I will answer the first 2-3, but then I have to stop and tell him I do not want to make the anxiety monster grow so I need to stop assuring him or helping him think of the nearly impossible scenarios.
My H has bipolar as well as my sister. So MI runs on both sides of the family. So I understand this fear as well.
As far as feeling guilty, that is a hard one. Have you accepted anxiety in yourself as not a character flaw, but a real biological cause?
"I hope your dd is seeking treatment. That's something we all have to do for ourselves. Noone can do it for us. It's ok for you to encourage her to seek help, but don't nag. I always thought it was a bit like telling a smoker to quit. It has the opposite effect & they will just smoke more;)"
I loved this Jan.
It's what I always said.
I was thinking of printing this off and handing it to a few people.
Maybe then they might just "get it"...
Nagging doesn't work in fact it can and does make it worse I believe.