Cummulative Stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2004
Cummulative Stress
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:27pm

I feel like I'm always posting general updates on here. I'm hoping once the summer and the move are over things will settle down to a normal pace. Scratch that. I have a feeling things won't be normal again until after the deployment, but even the prospect of the routine of deployment sounds appealing at this point.

So, I was out of state for a week visiting family, and I brought my niece and nephew back with me for a week. I had a really good time and it was a lot of fun, but stressful. Not necessarily being home, but my family was pressuring me to move home during the next deployment. I gave it some serious thought, but I can't see myself living there again. In that small town that pigeon holes you as a child and undermines your efforts to be anything else. Is it awful to feel that way about your home town and your family? Well, not my immediate family, but the extendeds. It's stifling. So, I'm about 95% sure I won't be doing that. The 5% is the guilt talking when my nieces and nephews go on about how cool it would be if I lived there so they could see me whenever they want.

Now that I'm home again and the kids are gone the stress of preparing for the move is starting to get to me. We're leaving here in 60 days. I'm having no luck finding a house. I know we have time, but I'm just feeling a lot of pressure to get things lined up. I just know that as the time gets closer I'm going to be consumed with the final sorting, packing and preparation things. I'm starting to get that anxious feeling that says imminent action is required. Like I have to take care of this NOW. It usually hits about 9pm when I'm trying to settle down for the night. I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something important.

Then there's the school stuff. I wanted to take a couple of months off to get through the move and get settled, only to find that the most I can take off without losing my financial aide is 28 days. So I'm trying to decide if it's better to be doing school work and writing papers while we're preparing for the move or while we're trying to get settled in.

So, yeah. Cumulative stress induced anxiety. My old standbys don't seem to be helping all that much either. I need some fresh ideas. Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 08-06-2010 - 2:52pm

What have you tried so far to help handle the stress?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sat, 08-07-2010 - 2:41pm
For me, the stress did add up. I *thought* I was coping just fine. Then...BOOM! I had two awful panic attacks. Seems I wasn't handling things all that well): Now I not only have to cope w/the stress, but the anxiety is back plus the horrible *anticipatory anxiety* that another panic attack could strike @ any moment. Sigh...
You have a lot of strengths, Jess. You have deployed before. I remember you added some activities to keep you busy. In fact, you were very organized. You covered all the *what if* scenarios. I KNOW you can do it again! Now that you've decided not to move back home, don't look back. Keep your focus on what's ahead. I am a great procrastinator. This may be what's happening here for you. I *know* something is going to happen, but I shove it to the back of my mind & decide it will be ok to worry about it later. When later arrives, I am overwhelmed): Take it a step @ a time. Small steps work best for us anxious folks. Also, lists work great. As you complete each task, check it off the list. When you go to bed, keep your list handy & read through it to see what has been completed & what you need to do, *tomorrow.* Then sleep *tonight.* Before you make the list, decide what is your priority. Reading your post, I am worried about your housing. That would be top of my list. Then again, I don't have anyone to fall back on & I have to think about my kids.
That's too bad about school. I don't want you to lose your funding. Can you take a lighter load this semester & still keep the financial aid? Maybe that would be better, than taking too many classes & not having the time to devote to your school work when the move is your priority.
I wish you the best of luck. I am sending P&PT's that you will have the strength to get past this hurdle & get settled in your new place. GBU! (((hugs))) jan
PS What is normal??? LOL