Really upset (preg, m/c mentioned)

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Really upset (preg, m/c mentioned)
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 8:44am
Well I knew it would happen one time or another. One of my best college friends just announced he and his wife are pregnant and due in September. That's around the same time as I would have been due!

When he called I immediately burst into crying and while I explained what happened (he didnt know about our loss) he stumbled into the every one of the "standard" responses. You'll get pregnant again! It was a good sign! There is always a reason!

While most days those are all acceptable but after the news of a baby born around when my baby would have been born was just too much.

DH was not home (friend was one of DH's groomsmen! and visa versa!) so I told them how happy I was for them and how this was a very hard time for me and wished them the best but had to get off the phone.

I was miserable all night. I turns out that my wonderful DH knew they were expecting and couldnt bear to tell me! UGH!!!! Now I cannot be approached by my own DH!!!

I'm getting a second PCOS opinion on MOnday and and its yet another f#$(#$(ing hurdle in my contant struggle to have a family. Sometimes I want to know how I pissed off so many people in this world that this is happening to me :(

I wish I had more perspective but all I want to do is cry and emotionally eat (which I know I shouldn't do). I have to cancel a meeting today with a colleague at her home and her 3 month new born. I thought I was ready to do this but now I'm now where close.

Thanks for listening!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 9:10am
I went through something similar - two days after my first Clomid cycle failed, my SIL called my DH at work to tell him she was pg and wanted to announce to the family at Christmas at OUR HOUSE! DH decided that he thought I could handle it and told me that night. I don't remember the last time (before that) that I cried so much. And Christmas ended up being one of the worst holidays ever for me. This was after DH had been so positive that we'd be able to announce at Christmas and the letdown was just too much. I'm not sure what my point was there - I think mostly just to tell you that I understand how you feel.

Take a few days to pamper yourself. Sounds like you need it. I hope your RE appt goes well and they can figure out what happened. Hopefully this was one of those "fluke" things and you never have to experience it again. And sweetie, you didn't piss anyone off. It's just your cross to bear, as much as it sucks. I'm sending you LOTS and LOTS of hugs.



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Avatar for fl_tracy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 9:45am
I posted to you on the Miscarriage board, but I just wanted to give you another hug!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 10:39am
Esther I am sooo sorry you had to deal with that and all alone too! I think you handled it really well. I'm sorry, but I don't know what else to say.

I think you should definitely try to do something to pamper yourself.

Many many many many many HUGS!!!!!


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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 12:16pm
The timing of life never ceases to amaze me...who on earth did that have to happen right then!?!? Ugh!

I am sending you tons of hugs and tellin gyou--with no hesitation whatsoever--that you have the strength to get through this. And you are wise in giving yourself time and cancelling appointments and telling people straight out that you need to get off the phone with them. That shows me you're smart and can handle yourself--so I am positive that you will come out of this soon.

I sure wish I could take the hurt away for you but please know my thoughts are with you and DH.

Take care and all my best,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 03-25-2003 - 1:37pm
I replied to you on the other board, but I wanted to give you another great big ((((((HUG))))))! Laura

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