Interested in your Opinion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Interested in your Opinion
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:31pm

I'm not sure if this off topic but it's something I've been wondering about. Do any of you find any comfort in the fact you know you can get pregant even though you have miscarried? One of best friends is 30 (6 years younger than me) and she has been unable to conceive atall in a year (she has seen a specialist but I won't go into the details). I've just been wondering how others who have suffered multiple losses feel.



Avatar for kathyzar
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 3:40pm
Good question. I've had mixed feelings about this. I've been told so many times by my RE that I should be happy that I can conceive easily and how that's a good thing. But after a while you get sick of hearing it because you still don't have what you want. I was starting to feel like - yeah, big deal, I'm still miscarrying aren't I !! Then I'd start feeling guilty knowing that there are so many woman out there that can't even conceive. My DH is trying to get me to think differently, he keeps saying that we're getting closer each time. I also agree with Paula though, if you can't conceive on your own there's more testing done or IUI and invitro, where as for someone like me who can conceive nothing else is done to help you along the way. My doc. just keeps saying "I'll see you when you're pregnant".

I think it stinks no matter what your situation.


Avatar for ppro
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 3:17pm
Having had both issues I have to tell you that I took no comfort in being able to vers. when I couldn't (it took over a year and a half this time). I guess they both come heavy with problems, really for those who cannot conceive on thier own there are a lot of procedures that can be done, but for those of us that have also had m/c's there isn't much a dr can do most times but "try" different things. That being said I think we share a lot of the same grief and heartache. I have met a few girls from my fertility clinic and they cannot imagine finally getting preg and then having to face the higher risk of m/c. The hurt feelings, depression and should I say obsession was the same across the board.

The miracle of birth and preg is something neither group take lightly we all have so many things to overcome...

I don't know just my two cents! I have had four m/c's and then when IF hit I almost went crazy on top of it all!!!

Avatar for jenact64
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 2:00pm
Hi K-

I *used* to feel comforted by that... the first two of my three pregnancies took only four months from the time we started trying, and they were both natural conceptions (with me 35+... woohoo!) I felt so fertile and still felt positive... But #3 took almost a year, and was a Clomid pregnancy (second month I took the lowest dose... still thought it was pretty good.) Well, we have been ttc now since August ... seven months, and almost all have been on higher doses of Clomid and the last three have been IUIs. No pregnancy yet (that I know, of anyway... I'm in the 2 week wait.)

So now I know what both sides of the coin feel like, and they both STINK! I have two friends who had trouble ttc, but they both have babies now. We have had many a discussion about which situation is worse, and we've decided they are equally heartbreaking. M/c feels like such a cruel joke... you get all excited and think 'Here we go!' then it's gone, but this never conceiving is awful, too. I feel more upset with each passing month at the arrival of AF, especially since my 39th birthday is looming on the horizon.

In the end I think it is a positive if you can conceive... even if you lose them, eventually you will get tested and hopefully they can find a cause that they can treat. I suppose when you never conceive you do not have that option, and for that I am thankful.

That's my two cents... for what it's worth!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 1:10pm
That's an interesting question! In the beginning I felt great about being able to get pregnant so quickly. When I read about some of the long struggles to get pg on this message board, I thought, "oh, that will never be me" because I get pregnant so quickly! I had a friend who hadn't gotten pg after a year of TTC, and Paula and Emily on this board had each been TTC for 12 months with no results. When I read their stories I felt so relieved not to have that problem!

Well... my friend, Emily and Paula are all expecting babies now, and I am not! So, the moral of the story is, you just never know when your baby is going to come, and it certianly may not be any sooner than folks who are having trouble getting pg.

That said, I am glad I get pg easily, it is nice to have one thing that is working! Unfortunately I have had to wait almost 6 months between each m/c for testing, and this time for getting used to the Glucophage XR. So out of the 18 months I have only had about 4 months to TTC and I have had 3 m/c. If I didn't get pg easily this all would have taken much longer. Especially since I was given Clomid for a few months and it turned out that I had a wierd reaction in that it STOPPED me from ovulating!

Interesting question! Thanks!


Avatar for trishrosales
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:17am
You know ironically enough I do find comfort in the fact that I do concieve pretty easily. Of course it took someone else telling me "Oh my gosh do realize just how fertile you are, you have been PG 2x in one year." I had never thought about that. I fnd comfort in the fact that I can concieve quickly and that there are those who cannot. Count you blessings!!