Back from vacation, pondering my life
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| Tue, 05-24-2005 - 4:49pm |
Hello everyone,
We are back from vacation. In case you didn't know we spent 5 days in Anahiem, Disneyland and all, and 5 days in San Deigo. I loved San Deigo, and don't have much to say about the people of Anahiem, we found them a little rude. San Diego was a breath of fresh air after our stint in Disney. I loved the people, food, everything. And if you ever get a chance to hit the harbour and eat at Anthony's Grotto, I highly recommend the Lobester Thermadore. It was better than my coveted chocolate.
I sadly came to the realization however, that my marriage is ending, and that I will be leaving my husband sometime in the near future. Which leaves me pondering the multitude of questions my brain is asking me. We have had a rocky relationship, and my guts told me very early to get out, but along came kids and poof 10 years later...things are not so rosy. So today I'm sad. I have alot of big decisions to make. Like what the heck am I going to do after being a mom for 10 years, *sigh* - but excited at the prospect of someday having happiness in all our lives. This will undoubtedly result in happier kids and a happier me. Its just starting the painful process that is hard.
Wish me luck, and if you pray, put in a word for me. Thank you.
Holly
btw..I have been reading alot of Sylvia Browne, and if you know her work, you know she believes that we all write our chart (life's path) in heaven before we decide to come down to this exsistance...and wow I did write myself a doozy. But I am better for the lessons that have passed and the ones that will come. Its this quiet contentment that has seeped into my soul that is calming all my fears.

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(((((Holly))))) Sorry you were disappointed with Disneyland and it's denizens. It's all about the money there and their employees are treated pretty badly. My Son-in-law worked there for a while and hated every day at work. You are right on about San Diego, lovely place to go and tons of things to do and see. I'm about a one hour drive from there and visit often. Wish I could afford to live there!
Sad to hear about your life changes. Difficult decision to make but once made a sense of relief does set in. I wish you the best of luck in making the transition. But let's face it, you managed your life before you were married and you'll be able to pick it up again. Sometimes being both mom and dad is easier than trying to be a mom without a supportive dad. My thoughts are with you. Diane
Bev,
Thanks, I need all the help I can muster up. Prayer is a good thing.
Holly
Diane,
Regarding Disney, we found the park attendants quite warm, it was most of the rest of the population that was down right rude (we also found most restarants and hotel staff much the same). We had people walking OVER our kids in lines, stepping on toes, bumping into us enough to just about knock off balance, cut in lines etc etc etc with out a SINGLE "excuse me, pardon me, so sorry, oops was that your toes?". And literally had hotel staff rolling their eyes when asked to cash a travellers cheque or for information regading anahiem. We were starting to wonder if they had taken the humanity aspect of mannerisms right out of the american culture until we hit San Diego. It was an actual sigh of relief not to have to expose my kids to the bombardment of rudeness.
And the life changes are LONG over due. We tried counselling in the winter and I basically learned he's never going to compromise. I'm not asking for major changes just meet in the middle stuff. He has been a workaholic for many years, and I've been a single married mom for every step of the way, plus doing all the house aspect stuff, and help with his business, and do the busy stuff afterschool with my kids and have RA to boot. Its been hard, and I'm tired and I've realized I have alot of living to do and its up to me whether to live it happily or not. I've taken charge of my health, now its time to take charge of my life.
Thanks for the concern, I need all the shoulders and friends I can rally.
Holly
Mich,
Don't be sorry, be happy. This is the best thing for me and the kids. Its just me mustering up the strength and the energy to put my plan into action. My kids will thank me someday, because at least this way, my s.o. will be forced to take time off to spend with them.
Thank you for letting me lean.
Holly
Sue,
Thanks for the reply. It will be for the betterment of all I know. And had I known you were so close, I WOULD have stopped by for a 'rita while my dh took the kids to the park!!LOL
Take care of you.
Holly
Holly,
My prayers are with you. What a hard thing. I can't imagine what you must be going through but just know i will be thinking of you today.
I'm not familiar with the writing you talked about but i do know that we have a heavenly father who adores us and wants the best for us. sometimes on earth, that fact can get clouded or seem confusing i know... believe me. But our earthly circumstances doesn't make it any less true. One of my favorite promises in scripture is found in Jeremiah, Chapter 29:
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
I claim this for you. May God Bless you as you seek a path.
Take Care
Layne
Layne,
I was thinking of you today as well. The scripture passage was lovely, and appropriate to my struggle.
This process began many years ago, and I finally have the wisdom and strength to be true to myself, and do what is right for my family. I am at the point where I am no longer angry, I no longer shed tears on my pillowcase every other night, and I know the path I am ment to take. I only want the best for all of us. It would take a miracle from the heavens to fix our marriage.
Thank you for your concern. It is guaranteed that I'll be back questioning, pondering and seeking many shoulders and advice from the wise ladies of the board. I feel that this is one of the only places I have a true voice at the moment.
Take care of you.
Holly
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