QOTW: What is The Biggest Obstacle....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
QOTW: What is The Biggest Obstacle....
15
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 2:03pm
We haven't done a Question Of The Week for awhile and I'm curious -- what is the biggest obstacle or obstacles you have had to face with your RA?

Molly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 5:03pm

Oh my, where to start. I think the biggest obstacle for me was accepting that I was not and could not be everything I was before RA. That does not mean that I am less of a person now -- it just means that I am a some-what different person. I was born a goal-oriented, slightly over-achieving, control freak. Imagine what happens when that sort of person discovers fifty some years later that some goals are going to remain unreachable, that she is not physically able to do a lot of things that she REALLY wants to do, and that she can't even control whether her hands can open a !?*/! jar of peanut butter.

Do I still struggle with acceptance? You bet I do. But, I have mellowed and for the most part have reached an equilibrium of sorts. I still have my days of wallowing in self-pity or ranting at fate, but they are much fewer and further between than at first. I'm never going to complete climbing every 14,000 foot peak in Colorado, but I can still enjoy a walk in the forest or picnic by a stream. I can't work 30 hours a day, but I can still do work I enjoy. I no longer say "yes" to every volunteer organization in a hundred mile radius, but I do save time and energy for a couple that are close to my heart. I have learned to slow down, pace myself, put aside energy for a specific purpose, and listen to my body when it tells me it has had enough of my foolishness for one day.

It's been a real journey getting here, and I would never say that I am glad I developed RA because of the changes it has made in me or in my life. But, I have tried to accept the changes and make the best I can of the "new" me. After all, life is full of change of one sort or another, and we just get through it the best we can.

Rosemary

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 8:21pm

For me, it was fear of the unknown!! I wasn't going to be who I was physically anymore, and we all know when there is a physical change there is also an emotional change. There will always be that lonely RA world, but people to talk to and understand.

Luv Ya!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2005
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 1:00am

This is a hard question, Molly. The first obstacle was the fear that my hands were going to have to be cut off. I am serious. They were so red and swollen and the pain could not be explained to a normal person. Fear is very real with this disease. I thought I had cancer in my hands. Thank God I went to a rheumy right away! Now,I get depressed and want to divorce my body. Pacing myself is hard to do. I always was giving 110%. Learning to look the other way at the dust and dirty floors was gut wrenching for me. My house is clean, but not by my old standards. We aren't dead yet from the dirt!!! I have changed mentally and physically from this. My dh and dd understand and the rest can go to he... !!! The comments from ignorant people drive me up the wall! My mil just does not get it and is constantly telling me what I should do for my arthritis. AACCKK!!! The whole disease is one big obstacle and a daily challenge, but I survive and will continue to do so.

Great Question!
Vicki

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 7:37am

Oh God Molly, I am half wishing I didnt log on, I have spent a full 12 hrs in the office "doing the cupboard" which still has the same amount of junk in it ( less a big bin full of stuff) but some how after so much work it still looks crowded.............

I have had a frusrtating day. I am cranky. I am tired. I have been close to tears a few times. MY feet a sore. I hurt my shoulder moving stuff, I have pain + running up my back and my hips.....but I can see the floor now in the office & hall way. I should just have chucked the whole stuffing lot in the bin, and if the tax man came looking who bloody cares, and I am sure I wont be pulling the back boxes down to look at my kids kindergarten books and all the other stuff in them for God knows how long.

So to answer your question ...What is The Biggest Obstacle,I have had to face with my RA.

I would say myself.

Because really I still just dont get it. And since I rarely swear I would have to say this is a (#&&$^*@$^%#%&%#& horrible disease. Our obstacles are there every single day, it is a cruel cruel disease.( most days I just get on with it and dont complain ) So there you have it molly, one pissed off person with RA who spent the day bloody cleaning out a cupboard and is now paying for it.

You may very well ask what am I doing tomorrow and the rest of my holidays...going on a picnic with my 3 sisters to the beach. then reading a few books. That wont create any obstacles.

Well I best go and have a drink or a dozen valium because I am still worked up. Lell

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 10-05-2005 - 2:23pm
I read all the thoughtful and heart-wrenching responses and had to step away from this thread for a bit and think.

Molly

Avatar for donnaldy59
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2001
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 7:36am

This is going to sound weird, but I don't have any obstacles.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 2:09pm
Donna, you are very special.

Molly

Avatar for donnaldy59
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2001
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 12:02am

Nahhh I'm not special - I just have other things to worry about - lol!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 12:49pm

  • Nahhh I'm not special

Are too!!!!

Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2005
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 7:18pm

Wow, I gained a lot of insight from reading the responses to this question. I think my biggest obstacle is my own disbelief that I have RA. My rational self "knows" I have it, but my feeling self just cannot "believe" it! My mind will say "Let's go!" but my body says, "No way!!" I have always lived pretty much in the black or white, hating gray areas. Now, my life is nothing BUT a gray area. I now believe that this is a huge life lesson for me, and it helps me to look at it that way.

Sudie

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