Example of what NOT to say to people

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Example of what NOT to say to people
10
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 2:12pm

with arthritis:

Co-worker (same one who saw Arthritis mag on my desk and said "They have a whole magazine for THAT?") said to me "DOes anything on you NOT hurt?" when I mentioned my Achilles heel last week. I just said "Nope, pretty much everything." I mean, what else can you say to such nonsense????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 3:08pm

  • said to me "DOes anything on you NOT hurt?" when I mentioned my Achilles heel last week. I just said "Nope, pretty much everything." I mean, what else can you say to such nonsense????

Not much, Michele.

Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 3:12pm
This person is a HE actually. Insensitive oaf.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 5:29am

Dear Michelle,

I think really people just dont have any concept of how some one could have pain everyday, and in different areas each day. It makes us a bit unbelievable and how can we even begin to explain this to people everyday ?
It would mean we would be constantly dwelling on our disease in our work life, home life and social life, being in pain wears us down and takes its toll and to educate people along the way is good but that in itself is so tiresome.

I suppose I am lucky in one way because work with other nurses,and I dont have uneducated or inconsiderate comments directed at me. However for the last week I have been working with an ice pack strapped to my wrist, after the first few explanations of what was wrong I just got sick of the questions, so from there on I just said I was starting a fashion trend and instead of gold the new look was white ice and did they care to join the trend!

Lell.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 11:24am
I like that idea of the fashion trend!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 1:11pm
Lell, you are always such a breath of fresh air.

Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 1:25pm
I remember now that you said the person who asked you about Arthritis Today was a guy.

Molly

Avatar for cla3a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 2:55pm
Some people are just ignorant. They might not be ignorant on purpose, they might
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 9:24pm

Although Molly what we say to people can also have an impact. I walked (or hobbled)into work yesterday AND ASKED BY MY BOSS if I was okay I promptly burst into tears !! I am stunned at myself for doing this, obviously my pain level was sky high and not under control and I was facing a busy shift...I was promptly sent home of course........

I get a phone call this morning to see if I am coming to work.....My reply was no I am not I shall be too busy trying to chew off my foot like a dog. (nothing like a "picture" to describe the pain.) Lell.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 1:54pm

And this is the reason I keep my RA to myself!!!







iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 2:09pm
Lell, that is absolutely true.

Molly