Hi all need a friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Hi all need a friend
9
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 4:06pm
Hi,

I have had self esteem issues all my life but recently I thought I really had a handle on it and have been feeling REALLY good about myself. But a couple of things happened in the last 2 days that have rocked me a bit and I wondered if it was OK if joined this group. I am part of another iVillage board but Im not comfortable talking about this there. If its not ok Let me know.

This is what has me so upset. Someone posted this in the guestbook at my website

Name: the bitch

Email Address:

Comments: can't believe they made you a CL

I think I know who did it and I KNOW I shouldnt let it bother it me but it does. I have been trying soo hard and this just hurts.

Im sorry if I bothered you all.

*hugs

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Avatar for janegael
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:23pm
Congratulations you have been trolled.

Trolls are nasty creatures who wander around boards of all types looking to cause trouble. Sometimes they post really nasty things openly, but on moderated boards such as this one they tend to content themselves with sending ugly messages privately.

All this unpleasant little missive means is that a sick mean person was bored and you were a handy target. This person does not know you. He she or it does not understand a single thing about you. This creature gets off on imagining your reaction to this message and unfortunately you are letting it get to you. You are feeling exactly what it hoped. It lives to cause pain and misery. Imagine what it must be like in person. *Ugh!*

If you have been trying hard then you need to congratulate yourself on your accomplishments instead of letting a creature who is too cowardly to even sign their name upset you and put you down. Don't play its game. Go back to your other board and put up a nice cheery post. Put up several. Tell the world (and it) how good life is and how much you like being a CL and helping out. It's goal is to make you miserable. If it doesn't succeed, it will go elsewhere and harass someone else.

One thing about posting on boards like this one is that sooner or later we all run up against a troll. It's actually kind of a backhanded compliment that you got under their warty hide enough to make them take a moment to pick on you. They just hate cheerful helpful people, especially if other people like them. You are liked and nice so you got hit. Tomorrow it will be someone else. If it harasses you again, post about it and laugh. Trolls are allergic to people laughing at them. It makes them blow up and explode. Scrape the troll bits off the board and keep on smiling.

Remember, being happy and doing a good job are your best revenge. :)

Peace,

Jane

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 11:49pm
I'll be your friend.

I know just how you feel. I worry a lot about what other people think & I have to tell myself that when someone is hurtful...it says more about them than it does about me.

Know you are a good person & they would not elect you CL if you weren't qualified.

HuGZ

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 5:45am
Hi there! Well, the way i look at it is this person obviously has some self esteem problems of their own! Why esle woudl they take time out of their day to do something so childish? I know it is hard to not take things like that personally but please don't. Another poster said it right, this person doesn't know you or a thing about you, their attack was just immature! I have also had some run ins on other boards and I have realized that if I let it get to me, then they win. They have come to our boards and made us feel uncomfortable. I refuse to let that happen.

I hope you keep posting here. These ladies are so supportive, it is great!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 7:37am
You are definitely welcome here hon! I am so sorry that so moron posted something like that in your guest book, how rude, let alone childish.

We are all here to support each other, and help each other out when we need it - and to just have fun too.

So WELCOME!!! I hope you will stick around, we'd love to get to know you better.

Julie

froggyfish@hotmail.com

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 11:38am
((((mamabear))) of course you are welcome here!!!!! you've got many women here willing to be your friend!!

I really agree with what everyone else posted. Jane said it best when she described that the person who wrote that was a coward and saw you as an easy target. It's their own sick pleasurable way of entertaining themselves.

Congratulations on gaining a handle on some of your conflicts!!! Don't let this get you down. I'm sure you are a great cl... I haven't met many who AREN'T, and you wouldn't continue to be a cl if you weren't good at it! ;)

Well, I can't really say anything else that hasn't been said already... keep your head up and remember how many people you help by being a cl on the board you host.

I hope you stick around!!! (((hugs)))

~Lisa

lisa_ann1226@yahoo.ca

------edited for bad grammar! lol


Edited 3/27/2003 12:41:31 PM ET by cl-lamb1226

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 12:20pm
That's too bad someone posted such silly words. That's really all they are - words. As everyone else noted, this person doesn't know you so try to forget it ever happened. I like to think we are much more mature here on this board. Welcome, join our discussions and try to feel better about what happened. We'll help you get over the whole experience.

Hugs,

Ben

P.S. It looks like my computer is allowing me to post here today. I guess this can be a late Wednesday Wahoo!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 2:07pm
Hi all,

Thank you all so much for your kind words and warm welcome. I really feel like I need a place to just go be myself and find some friends who understand. Sure sounds like I will have that here.

Rather then go into a lot of minor details about who I am, you are welcome to visit my website to read some of the ins and outs of who I am. Just click on my profile for the link. You may enjoy some of my poetry as a bit of the me nobody knows. I will say that when I wear my "hat" I am a cl at the Depression Support board but here I am just Caly. I have battled depression on and off most of my adult life probably brought on in part by my low self esteem. I grew up with a very unemotional and unsupportive family. If fact for the most part my Mother still thinks I cant do anything right. Hear all those negative comments long enuf and you cant help but believe them especially when its your own mother. About 2 years ago I really hit bottom and called a crisis center. In turn they got me to tell my physican about my feelings and I started on anti - depressants and therapy. Both really helped. In fact for the most part I have to say that Im not depressed anymore and feel better about things then I have in years. I know that I am a good person and have slowly started taking my life back so to speak. Last week I went and got a tattoo finally! I have wanted one since I was in college but was too controlled by what my mother would think to do it. Well guess what? Its my body and I did it! :-)

I guess sometimes though I still have doubts especially when things like that post happen. Thats why I was hoping to hang out here sometimes and try to support you all and get a little in return. Its just sometimes its not things that I want to talk about on my own board if that makes sense?

Well thats the background in a nutshell and Im sure more things will come out in time. Again I really appreciate the warm welcome and look forward to getting to know you all too.

*hugs

Caly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 3:14pm
WOOOO HOOOO FOR THE TATTOO!!!!!!!!!! lol what is it of?

I'd like to get one soon too.... I'm thinking of getting a cherub or a faery on either the back of my neck (lower a bit though, right in between my shoulders), on my ankle or on my left shoulder... don't know though, cuz im a suck for pain!! lol... same reason why i haven't gotten my tounge pierced yet! lol ...

anyhoo *hugs*

~Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:47pm
My tattoo is a crescent moon with 3 stars.. its on my right ankle and you can see a photo at my website if you want. :-) http://pages.ivillage.com/themadhugger/ It really didnt hurt as much as I thought it would and the one I got only took 20 mins so compared to child birth its a piece of cake *giggle I say go for it!

*hugs

Caly

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