How do you stop beating yourself up?

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
How do you stop beating yourself up?
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 12:48pm
Geez, what is wrong with me today? I just feel like everything about me is wrong! I feel like if I were a better person,my bf and i wouldn'thave broken up. If I were smarter, prettier, funnier, I would have someone love me and not leave me! But the vast majority of problems in our realtionship are HIS ISSUES, not mine! But for some reason, today I amjust really being hard on myself. It doesn'thelp that this weekend we are going out to celebrate a friend's birthday and I thought I would treat myself yo something new to wear but I feel like I look awful in everything! I am too fat, I am too pale, I am too tall...ugh! I guess it is just one of those days but it sucks! And now the ex/bf is supposed to come over for dinner. I have a feeling he is going ot cancel but rather than call me and do it like a man, he will leave a message at myhouse. I am going to see my therapist after work so I will feel good after that and then come home to the bombshell again! I just want to feel better about myself, to feel worthy of good things, of happiness!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:57pm
If if if if if... we can't live our lives on if's!!!!! IF i was prettier.... IF i was thinner...... blah blah blah, then you wouldn't be YOU!!!! Some people are just not compatible, and if you're not compatible, it's not going to work no matter how tall or short you are, how great your complexion is, how thin you are, etc... it just won't work.

I don't know if you saw this or not... I posted it awhile ago... last week maybe, but I found it to be very inspirational and it really made me think.... here it is again, my apologies if you've already read it and/or didn't think it was that great....

<<<<*** I am me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it.

I own everything about me: my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all of it's thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they may be; anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth, and all the words that come out of it: polite, sweet or rough, correct or incorrect; my voice , loud or soft; and all of my actions, whether they be to others or to myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes and my fears. I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By doing so, I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects of myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know. But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

However, I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is me. This is authentic and represents where I am at that moment in time.

When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out unfitting. I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and; therefore, I can engineer me. I am me and I am okay.

--Unknown **>>>>

I truely think there is someone for everyone, and you just haven't come across him yet. You have so many people here who care about you and are here to support you, so you're not alone!!! It's normal to have these kind of days... we all get them, so in no way am I knocking you down for that, just trying to give you a little "pick me up"... i hope it's helping at least a tiny bit... if not, i'm sorry :(


I hope you feel better lori!