crazy stress at work (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
crazy stress at work (long)
4
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:25am
Hi all,

I work for a small company of less than 10 people. Half of the employees/owners are actually related to each other in some way or another. everyone is friendly and behave like they are part of a family.. but I feel really out of place.

The main reason is because I actually hate my job. I can't quit and the reasons are too long & complicated to explain. Because of the family-like setting, I feel pressured to be that way as well.

My coworkers are not bad people, but they are not the kind of people I would normally become friends with. In fact, of my employers actually stresses me out alot. She is our sales person and she behaves like a stereotypical sales person. Our office is small so she yells across hallways and through walls to make short conversations. She uses hallways as chat/gossip time. She'll sometimes walk in and interrupt my conversations about work with another co-worker. Because we are "family", things like these are overlooked.

This one person is just an example of the kind of stress I have at my job. On especially bad days, I relapse on my bulimia. I really hate dealing with it that way. Any suggestions as to how I can deal with this in a healthy way?

Thanks.

V.

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 11:31am
Of course the easy answer would be for me to say QUIT! But since you say that ins't possible, you need to find some ways to destress that are not harmful to you. Bulimia is not the answer! If you feel you can't get control of that yourself, please seek help! You will destroy your body that way! So you need a substitute. Do you exercise? When you get your body moving, you release endorphins thatwork wonders on your mood! Plus, it is something that will produce results and make you feel accomplished! Also, ever consider something like yoga? I never thought I would do it but lately my stress level skyrocketed and Idecided to try it. I love it. The total feeling of relaxation you get after a session is amazing! And there are some easy breathing techniques you can do at your desk when work gets nutty!

I know this is easier said than done but when work gets crazy, take some deep breathes and remove yourself from the situation, excuse yourself and go for a short walk or just head to the bathroom to calm down! Not sure if any of this helped you but we are all here to listen if you need us!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:30pm


Yeah, I do exercise and it does help! There are plenty of things I do outside of work that can relax me. Actually, I work from home half of the time and during those times, even when the work is unchallenging or boring, I do fine. It's just when we all meet at the office the other half of the time, that is when I can't handle it mentally. Yesterday, I left the office for a couple of minutes to "get some coffee" but it was just an excuse to get out of there! But this can't work all the time. When I'm there, I feel obligated to work non-stop like my other coworkers and also to be congenial to everyone. Most of the time, I feel like I'm faking myself to be nice to these people I have nothing in common with. =(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 3:22pm
Loritemp's response here is really good!!

Hugs, Julie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 3:25pm
I know it stinks to feel like you are "faking it". I mean - is there a way you can draw the line between just being cordial & friendly - and being "buddy buddy?" So you won't feel so forced? We all have bad days where we don't even feel like cracking a smile, but for the most part, I have to force myself to be friendly around my office too. We spend so much time with the people at work - geez, most of our waking hours - ugh! It's like being married to them all - haha!

Good luck hon!