What is Happiness???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
What is Happiness???
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 9:50am
Every one says "if you are not happy then no one can make you happy". Well what constitutes happiness: I can seriously say that I am not "happy". I have had happy days (Christmas, the birth of my girls etc)but in general I am not a "happy" person. I don't walk around mean or anything. But I do have people mostly men tell me "why don't you smile" In any case what is happiness. I feel that I am "successful" for the stage that I am in, in my life should I be happy"? Let's just say I am proud of my accoplishments. So ladies and gentlemen, can you answer what do they mean when they say...no one can make you happy unless you are happy yourself???
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 2:51pm
Happiness will mean different things to everyone. I felt very unhappy last year and working with a therapist this past year has helped me feel better. I'm not totally happy but I'm more content.

Gotta run, I'll write more later


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-31-2003 - 3:32pm
Happiness is a different thing for everybody... here is what I think happiness is:

Happiness is a feeling of accomplishment and self-worth. You know that you have a purpose, and even if you don't agree with it, you face today knowing that tomorrow is just yet again, another day.

To be considered a "happy person", no we do not need to walk around with a smile plastered on our faces. No we don't always need to be chipper and see the up-side of things. I'd consider myself a "happy person"... sure there are things in my life i'd love to change, sure, I get depressed and feel like complete crap, but over-all, I'm a happy person. I'm content with my accomplishments and I'm content with my placement in life. Sure I wish things were better, but I'll settle with what I have, b/c I am so much more blessed than many other people in the world.

Now when someone says "if you are not happy, then no one can make you happy", well that's to say that you have to do things for you. If you see the glass half-empty all the time instead of half full, you are going to be stubborn and not open to peoples suggestions while trying to make you see the glass half-full.

It's just like when people say if you smoke "you have to quit for yourself, and no one else." YOU have to be ready, YOU have to take charge and YOU have to do it for your OWN reasons, no one elses....

Does that make sense??? lol, i'm going to feel like such a fool if I didn't really make too much sense, especially if that was meant to be a rhetorical question.... haha...

Great question!



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
Sat, 04-12-2003 - 12:49am
I think that saying....no one can make you happy unless you're happy with yourself...means that you need to be satisfied with yourself and all that you are. It means you feel good about you and your accomplishments, that you have confidence and feel secure. Other people just ADD to your feelings of joy, not make them.

To me, happiness means SO many things. It means feeling self confident, proud of your accomplishments, satisfied with the decisions you've made in all aspects of your life while at the same time able to make changes if needed. And these decisions can be anything....like deciding not to work and stay at home with your children. Or, the decision to make a career change, or to start or end a relationship. For some, it can be financial freedom or finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. Oh, there are so many things that fall under happiness but I really think it's an overall satisfaction with everything and your attitude. Sure, there are things that get us down but a happy person will make the best of it and move on. It's being positive and hopeful.

With that said....I can't say I'm a happy person either due to the many obstacles in my life. I'm really not where I thought I'd be...or hoped. Yes, they were my decisions and now I'm living with them, but I'm not happy and I think this is because I have my own ideas of what a happy life for ME is. I am pursuing other avenues to help myself and I do things that make me feel happy for the moment...visit friends and family, engage in my favorite past time (reading), splurge and go shopping for fun stuff once in awhile.

I do have to admit, though, that I am thankful for everything I have as there are some who don't have much.

Take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sun, 04-13-2003 - 9:21pm
wow, a philosophical question.

Hmmm, happiness to me is alot of things. It's feeling good about yourself, both emotionally and physically. Happiness comes from accomplishing something, experiencing joy or other positive moods, achieving goals, most of all, feeling great about life and in high spirits. Can't say that I have met the above description of happiness...but because I have an optimistic outlook on life, in general even when I'm not smiling I'm happy b/c I see the glass as half-full. For that reason, even when there are seas of troubles in my life, and I feel like I'm in a dark storm, the sun manages to shine through it all.

Happiness comes from within you. People can't make you happy (well, if they give you love or presents, then maybe :) but in general you have to do whatever makes you happy. Don't expect others to do that for you or seek happiness from others. Doing so will only serve to make you unhappy. Search for it but not too hard. Be patient and you'll see that happiness will come when you least expect it. Don't force yourself to be happy but try thinking positive thoughts and smile more (sometimes the act of it will make me feel better) and happiness may come.