What should I do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
What should I do??
6
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 10:03pm
I've posted here before about my situation but now there's something else going on and I need some advice.

I got a new boss in Aug 2002 and in the beginning she seemed positive and really nice. Things started changing when cutbacks happened. We went from 4 admins to 2. Needless to say, I've had to take on a lot of additional duties and the stress is overwhelming at times as there are deadlines to meet. I'll list just a few of the things my boss has done to me:

1. Insulted me in front of her best friend regarding the budget variance. I took it over from someone who left and I had no training. Although I asked for training I didn't receive any. She said to me that it appears I don't have the propensity to work well with numbers.

2. She hired her best friend (she was an admin too) as an analyst, which is a step up from admin and didn't offer the position to me even though I've been in the dept. and I have a degree. I have admirable work ethics, am professional at all times, diligent, and I work well under pressure. I help everyone out, even those from other depts.

3. I had a meeting with her to discuss my future and I told her I'm interested in advancing within the dept. She told me that if I want that I would have to pursue it on my own and maybe I can get with the other managers to see if there's an opportunity for me here. No support from her.

4. I arrived at work at 7:30 one day and asked her if I could leave at 3:30 and skip my lunch hour to take my son his first baseball game. The coach called me the night before so it was last minute and I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. I always make up my time so the company is not paying me for hours I'm not there. She said..."I don't know. It seems people are saying you're out of the office a lot." Then she started bringing up the times I've been out....2 dentist appts in a month and a half, a day I stayed home with my young son about a month ago as he was sick, and my participation with a volunteer team at my company. When I first started in the dept. they asked me if I could be a part of the team because the company tries to get one representative from each dept. This is something the CEO and VPs push and are very proud of.

5. She called the head of the volunteer team and told him I wouldn't be participating in an event the volunteer team holds yearly at an elementary school. She told him it was because of the implementation of a major project in our dept. What's funny is....I have NOTHING to do with this project. She lied.

Needless to say, I am disappointed, stressed, really down, and not feeling good about my job. There is a freeze on at the company so I can't move elsewhere and I was trying to hang on. My question is........she has set up one on one meetings with everyone in the dept. (myself included) and I was wondering if it would be appropriate to discuss my feelings, concerns, etc. during this meeting??? Eventually I know I will leave there but in the mean time I'd like to make things better.

Thank you for listening.

Avatar for randomgrrl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: pmw730
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 11:04pm
That f-ing b***!


First of all your boss sounds like a real trip. And you have my upmost sympathy. Hugs hun! Now about the meeting, that's a tough call. It might not be the best time. Wait and listen for a while. See if anyone else starts talking about things other than business. If not, it might seem like you were waiting for a chance to berade her in front of a group of people, even if that's not your intention. She could use it agianst you. Maybe use the time to inquire about the volunteer thing. Maybe ask, "Well since I"m not working on this big project, and I"m not currently involved with the volunteer program, maybe I can lend a hand to them." See if you can stick her to her lie. Just a subtle way of saying, "I know you lied, screw you."

Wait it out in the meeting, see what else is discussed. Maybe someone else will bring up an issue involving your boss and you can simply throw your two cents in.

Have you talked to anyone above your boss? Or HR? Maybe someone can help you find a way to deal with her.

I wish you all the luck, honey. Hugs and take care! Let us know how things go!!!


Hugs!!!

Nikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
In reply to: pmw730
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:36am
I can't write too much, too much to do, but I say take this issue to HR. They should be made aware of her underhandedness. You have to be diplomatic and not sound like a tattle-tale. If you have to write up a little speech and read it over and over so that when you go in there you are prepared and sound organized.

Gotta run, I hope your work situation gets better.

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
In reply to: pmw730
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 9:54pm
Nikki, thanks for your support!! The meeting is a one on one meeting so it will be just me and her. She is a b**** alright and it scares me because I'm not used to playing games, being catty, or anything like that. All my jobs up to this point have been strictly professional. I'm really thrown by all of this. I guess I've never really tasted the real "corporate" life. I've heard of nightmare situations but this is my first real taste...whew!! She's a tough one and I don't want to say anything to her that may be misconstrued for fear of retaliation. I haven't gone to HR but that is an option. There was a woman who they fired and I sat back and watched them be so cruel to her. They actually made a case out of every little thing...like a typo in an email!! Yes, can you believe it? But they did that because they wanted her out...she wasn't a part of the clique. She was the most helpful, the most diligent, the most on-time person I've ever met. She would even take work home to complete to meet her deadlines and wouldn't charge overtime.

That's why I'm wondering if I should just ride it out until something else comes my way. I'm pretty tactful but I don't know if I have THAT much tact!

Have a great day,

Paula

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
In reply to: pmw730
Wed, 04-02-2003 - 10:01pm
Thank you for your response. I've thought about going to HR but to be honest with you...it scares me. I know it's the right thing and maybe I should really think long and hard about this.

I'll keep you posted.

Paula

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
In reply to: pmw730
Sat, 04-05-2003 - 10:02pm
Hi Paula.

I can commiserate with what you're going through. Years ago I had a supervisor who was a real b****. If I did anything positive she undermined it, if anything negative happened in the clinic I got blamed for it, if I got any positive feedback from other people on staff she changed my duties so that I no longer had any contact with them, and so on and so on. Anyway to get back to your situation since your meeting with her is an individual meeting use it to bring up your concerns, at least she can't fault you for not tyring to work things through. Be very careful about going to HR. Try and find out how they have reacted to other employees who have expressed concerns about their suporvisors. They may have a general policy of backing up the supervisors regardless of the situation. Unfair but possible. What you don't want to do is develope a reputation as an employee who has difficulty working with 'administration'.

If your supervisor responds negatively to your concerns, and there is no possiblity of transferring to another department because of your company's hiring freeze, then you might start to investigate your options outside your company. It sounds like you have tried every reasonable means to improve your working situation. Your boss isn't going anywhere and she seems unwilling to change. So maybe you should be the one to move on. Just carefully consider any new opportunities that come your way. Make sure that any new position is right for you and, as you said, has opportunities for advancement within the company. Don't mean to push you into anything. It's just something to consider.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
In reply to: pmw730
Sat, 04-12-2003 - 12:23am
Thank you for your response!

Sometimes I feel it's so unfair how we fall prey to these unprofessional supervisors and they get to continue on. One good thing is that the freeze is starting to lift over at the division, another branch of the company about 10 min. away. So, a job was posted in the Engineering dept and I put my bid in for it. I know I can't get anywhere with this boss. She is too set in her ways and definitely too dangerous to mess around with. Your comment about HR is true. You just never know where they stand and I don't need to get the reputation of not being able to work well with administration. I gave that a lot of thought and decided not to go to HR. Right after that there was this job. I hope I get it. It would be something I REALLY need right now.

Thanks!