Help for monthly self-esteem crash?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Help for monthly self-esteem crash?
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 1:58pm
I am a stay-at-home mom with 2 children. I have never had very much trouble with my periods or pms, but for the past few months have noticed a disturbing trend. For a few days before my period starts, I seem to have a REALLY difficult time with self-esteem. Ordinarily I am a positive, secure person who is grateful for my loving family and friends, but for the past few months I have a few days where it feels like I have crushingly low self-esteem. For instance, when we had friends for supper and a couple of them didn't seem to love what I made, I felt really badly about it and worried they'd be laughing later about what a terrible homemaker I am (they NEVER would, I fully KNOW, but still), or when my dh went and bought treats for him and didn't pick any up for me I was mortally wounded, though I am generally obviously capable of going and getting whatever I please. Ordinarily these types of small things would barely register in my consciousness, but for these few days they have me crying in my pillow! I assume it is pms-related as it has been happening regularly now, so I am hoping there is a physical solution. Is this common? Is this the kind of thing that people are taking St John's Wort or something for? Please help me if you can, as these are NOT pleasant feelings! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 3:43pm
Hi moon_struck and welcome to the board!!!!

I know what you're talking about and I'd think it's definitely pms related. Around that time of the month, some women's emotions run MUCH higher than others, and sometimes you just get out of control. you might want to check out the PMS/PMDD board, there you'll find women with similar experiences:

Being a stay at home mom of 2 children is a tough and demanding job. the last thing you want is to feel critisized (i cant spell! lol): such as when your company didn't really like the meal you planned, or unappreciated: such as when your hubby didn't think of showing you his appreciation ("rewarding") while he was picking up treats (lol, that probably sounds bad... but i'm sure you know what I mean, right?)

Why not try to lower the stressful things in your life at that time... let your husband know that about once a month (ohhh what a cliche! lol), you begin to feel like you can't handle alot of pressure that's thrown your way. ask him if he'd mind helping out a little extra around the house or with the children so you can have some much needed "You" time to do whatever you want and just relax without the hassles of having to make everyone else's life more comfortable. Give him some incentive by offering a "reward" of his own afterwards if he does this for you!! *wink wink* lol

Hope that helps!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 1:34pm
I can soooooo totally relate. A few years ago I noticed a similar thing with myself. It took a few months before it dawned on my that it was a PMS thing. A few days before my period I started feeling depressed, more fat than usual, thinking life totally sucked, etc. I called up my gyno and asked if this is normal, did she have any suggestions. The nurse called back and said it is normal not to worry, try Oil Of Evening Primrose a week or two before I expected my cycle. I did this and it may have taken some time but I did see an improvement. I took it maybe 2 weeks before and when I got my period I stopped. I just figured it didn't matter at that point so I went off it for two weeks and then started again.

Also, after a while it hit me, 'this is temporary, don't stress out over feeling this way'. When I started feeling depressed I looked at the calendar and saw the red circle reminding me 'Aunt Flo was coming for a visit' I realized it was just PMS and the depression would go away in a few days. It helped me to let go of the depression and just talk myself through those few days.

Call up your doctor and see if they have any suggestions.

Hope this helps,


<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microso

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 04-09-2003 - 2:39pm
Thank you all so much!! It totally helps to know that other people feel the same way! I can't believe how lousy it feels to worry that everyone is busy thinking that I am a big loser etc etc. I sure appreciate your tips, and hopefully can get a handle on it before it becomes a permanent way of reacting. Thank you, and I'll definitely keep checking in here, as y'all are so helpful! :o)