need to get some self esteem

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
need to get some self esteem
3
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 6:12pm
i'm a very shy person and i don't have many friends the ones i do have are an hour away and they are sick of me being so depressed and whiny that they don't even want to talk to me, so today when i talked tomy friend mark he said i need to get some self esteem and all my other problems meaning meeting new friends how do i do this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 1:12pm
Welcome to the board trinity!

Well, you'll find many friends here, but I'm sure we're not the only type you're looking for! ;)

Do you think that you have low self-esteem? or are you just believing that b/c that's what your friend told you? I know I have low self-esteem, but I'm also very happy with being on my own... I don't have that many friends either, but I don't think I'd enjoy being a social butterfly either... I have a few close friends, and that's enough to make me happy... what about you?

Why don't you try joining a class or group? Do you have a hobby?? Let's say you like excersising... why not join an areobics class? Meet other women with similar interests, and talking to them there isn't too hard either. You can start it out with a simple joke in class one day (i.e. "gosh, this music is right out of the 80's!" to the lady next to you) I know you're shy, but you're not going to be able to have ANY type of conversation if ya don't open your mouth right? :)

Think of it this way, if you say something to someone, and they think you're weird for saying it... they don't know you anyway, and you don't know them, so you've lost nothing. You've got nothing to lose by talking to someone you dont know and striking up casual conversation.

Good luck and feel free to stick around!! :)

~Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 10:28pm
I agree with you. As shy as I used to be, the one thing I've been able to do is talk to strangers either on long lines at stores, on our campus busses, etc. When I first did that, I felt weird but as I got used to it, I found myself really getting to be well-known. For example, here at the university, our busses are so over-crowded that you inevitably stand at one point or another. People sometimes complain about that and I'll join. Then we would end up finding out about ourselves (do you go to this campus, oh what year, etc.) I did that once last year or this fall and met classmates that I'm graduating with that I never knew before. My taking the initiative by striking up these conversations has led me to be one of the most well-known (and popular-though I'm no party girl) seniors on my campus both by students and the Deans.

Also, my self-esteem was always low prior to coming to college b/c I always heard negative stuff from my family about my life (I'm visually impaired and my parents always treat me like I'm weak, incapable, etc) Here, I've been surrounded by classmates who encourage and support me 100% whether it was to join organizations or to get into law school (will I ever get in???). Our Deans and my supervisors at my college also have given me 100% encouragement and support. That's the reason I don't go home. I'm not about to have weekends ruined after hearing my parents (well Mom) put me down. Best thing for you to do is to not listen to people who put you down or have negative attitudes. I speak from experience. Good luck,

Benita
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 10:57pm
well next to my ex telling me i have no self esteem which i know i have none. we are talking on a freindly basis(to be honest, he's the only friend i have right now) but i'm so jealous because it seems as though none of this interrupted his life i'm stitting here all alone, i don't have the money do do any of that stuff i want to join things and i have looked into quite a few groups they are expensive oh well i'll stop ranting


~~jenn