A possible diet revelation

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
A possible diet revelation
4
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 11:54am
Since I've been in therapy for some time I've been thinking about all sorts of things. Now that I am also seeing a nutritionist and I've lost a few pounds I've been wondering if I will be able to keep off the weight.

So here's my revelation. Some years ago when I lost weight (saw a nutritionist 10 years ago and had great success), I think one of my problems was I thought my life would change because of the weight loss. In my mind I imagined people would notice the weight loss and treat me differently. I only lost 10-15 pounds but that's really all I needed to lose. I was down to an 8 or 6 and that was great in my mind.

I think I expected too much from the weight loss. I think I thought men would notice me more. I think I thought that those work 'cliques' would open up to me. I think I thought my life would change, but it didn't.

I think I expected the weight loss would make me feel like a different person but of course I was still the same person inside, just thinner. I still had the same hang-ups and self-esteem issues. I'm hoping that with my year of therapy and more to come, the weight loss will be a nice perk and I don't fall back into my old eating habits.

Does this make sense to you? Can you see how in my mind I over did it in the imagination department expecting my life to change overnight? I still have a lot of those hang-ups today but at least I'm trying to deal with them.

I'd love to hear what you think of my diet/weight loss expectations from some years ago to now.

Hugs,

Ben

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Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 12:59pm
I know what you mean! I used to be about a size 14 (if I was lucky) and I was sure that was why I didn't have a boyfriend or why things went wrong for me (I would blame everything on my weight). Well, i began working out, lost weight, looked better, and now I am down to a 6 or an 8. But it hasn't changed my perception of myself. When i look in the mirror, I still see a fat girl! I am 5'10" and can fit into a size 6! That is far from fat but I don't see it! i think because dealing with my weight is much easier than dealing with other issues in my life. Even with this latest break up, I am convinced a huge part of it is I was not thin enough, pretty enough, attractive enough! My ex toldme the other day that really can't believe I think that little of myself.

The thing is, losing weight should boost your self confidence, it should give you a sense of accomplishment! it should help you in other aspects of your life. I have never been able to look at it as a success! I think until I can boost my self esteem from the inside, by knowing I am a good person with lots to offer, it won't matter what i weigh, i won't be happy with it!

Good luck to you with your weight loss, I know you can keep up the progress!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 2:10pm
Well Ben - for me, if I gain much weight, I end up feeling bad about myself and as a result, depressed.

My weight has gone up & down over the years, and really I think I am happier in general when I am at the lower weight. Probably because I don't feel uncomfortable, or unattractive. Now - the weight I like to maintain keeps me at a size 10 - so we're not talking unreasonalbly thin or anything.

I think self-esteem and self-confidence does have something to do with our physical appearance - but more as how we FEEL about it, as opposed to how we actually look.

When I was younger (19 or so) I was about a size 9 - but thought I was fat. So I was always down on myself about that. But now - a size 9, I feel like a goddess. I guess that's how I've changed as I've aged - I've learned to accept myself more & love myself as is! I realized I'm not meant to be a size 2 or whatever.

I'm glad you posted this Ben - it's really true!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 1:31pm
Thanks for your input. I guess many of us will always see ourselves as overweight even if we are technically at a healthy weight for our height. The media bombards us with images of skinny celebrities and we can't help but compare ourselves to them. Also, if we've been 'overweight' most of our lives we tend to always think of ourselves as overweight now matter how much we slim down.

I often see young girls or teens today and wonder if they feel the same way as I did growing up. I hope today's kids can grow up with better self-esteem now that we try to be politically correct. That's probably wishful thinking. When most of us grew up name-calling was a given and I'm sure it still is. I just like to think that today's kids are a little more educated and know in their hearts that it doesn't matter what other people think about them. As long as they are happy with themselves, that's all that matters.

Here's to positive body images,

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-11-2003 - 1:52pm
Cheers!

Sorry I didn't reply to this post any earlier ben, but I think your revelation is great!! and so true...

What you just post now is also so true.... I don't think I'll ever see myself as anything but overweight, b/c I have been and have been told I was my whole life... that's sad... the images thatare projected as "beautiful" aren't helpful to us who try to lose weight, and if we don't get to "that" weight, we often feel like failures...

Keep it up :)

~Lisa