Friendship & Business Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Friendship & Business Question
6
Sat, 04-12-2003 - 4:53pm
As many of you know I'm looking for a condo. A great!! opportunity just popped up. A friend heard I am looking for a condo and told me of one in her complex. They don't have a broker yet and if I act fast and it all works out I can possible get this one for maybe $12,000 less than if I buy one (I looked at it today)at the same complex with my broker (friend of 20 years). I saw this unit Friday night and it's great. It only has 1 bedroom but it's cute and as many people are telling me, there's no rule you can't buy a 2 bedroom down the line when and if I can afford one.

Here's the dilema - Friday night I saw Vinnie's unit (without the realtor). Right now he's painting it and having new carpeting installed. I'm taking dad to see it tomorrow. Thee's a nice big closet in the master bedroom, a ceiling fan in the living/dining area, farily new appliances and a screened in balcony off the bedroom. It also has a parking spot with a carport roof (not a garage, but a roof so my car won't be parked in the hot sun, pouring rain or snow). $219,000 with real estate broker, possibly $205,000-$208,000 without one.

Today I saw another unit in this same complex. The wallpaper is old and UGLY - must come down. The carpeting will also need to get replaced. Judging from the wallpaper appliances might be old, it looked like an older person may have lived there. There is less closet space and no carport (3 parking spaces - no roof). $219,000 with broker but I would try for less with work needing to be done on this unit.

If I put in a bid and it gets accepted how to I tell my friend of 20 years who is my realtor? She won't get any commission after showing me maybe 25 different places. She's just going to have to understand that this is a great deal I can't pass up. I thought I would offer to baby-sit for her daughter to help her out with her real estate business. Do you think this might help make up for the lost commission? Of course I would appologize over and over hoping it would help. I know if she was the one looking for a condo and had this type of opportunity she would jump at it too.

What do you think, am I worrying for nothing? I was afraid if something didn't work out (she can be flakey so I wasn't sure how she would do as my realtor) our friendship might be strained. She's been doing a good job, not the best, but she's new so I wasn't expecting the best. Maybe I should have but knowing her I expected a few slip-ups.

Okay, time to put on some make-up and have dinner with friends. I'll brain-storm with them a little tonight and see if they have any suggestions for telling her the news. Let's just say I'm pretty sure I'm going to bid on this unit.

(Sigh)

This real estate thing is very stressful,

Ben

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-13-2003 - 9:32pm
G*# damn it! I just typed a posting and all of a sudden it disappeared. On top of the real estate issue I'm even more frustrated that my posting disappeared.

Okay, I'll start over.

I took dad to see the condo and he agreed, it's a cute place. Then we had the financial disucssion again, 'can you really afford to live there on your own?'

Tomorrow moring I'll call my bank and give them the details, price of condo, taxes, common charges, and then plug in the mortgage into my budget to see what's left after all my estimated bills.

All of my friends and co-workers tell me it will be tight but they feel I will do just great and love living on my own. Why can't the two people who mean the most to me, mom & dad, have that kind of confidence in me? Some friends have suggested maybe they don't want me to move out. I wonder the same thing. Maybe if I move out in their minds they are old(er)?

I think deep down they simply don't want to see me broke and unhappy. I've coming to terms with the fact I probably will have to buy some tag-sale furniture and live very modest. Maybe my Saturday nights will be eating at home and watching a video at a friend's place.

One thing about the condo I don't like - there are only 2 closets. There is a storage space in the basement but I don't know if I would like to keep my seasonal clothing in it.

Sorry about all the complaing. This is one place I know I can come to and VENT! I'm getting a head-ache thinking about all of this. I think I'll pop some Excedrin PM and try to get to sleep early.

Good night, hopefully tomorrow I will have a better outlook,

Ben

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 9:47am
Hey Ben! Well, I was shocked when I read condo prices in your area, but you are in NY, right? UGH! I have a 2 bedroom with a proch and patio, lots of closets and it would sell for less than half of what you wrote! Ok, not to depress you, but it explains my thoughts here...make the bid withoutyour friend! Blame it on the guy selling the place if you have to! Say he wanted to list it himself and not deal with brokers and because of teh price savings, you didn't want to push the issue with him. If she knows how hard it has been for you to find something in your price range, she might be hurt at first but she will understand! This is going to be huge for you, a big life decision, you need to do what is best for you and if she is really a friend, she sound understand!

As for your parents, I think when i moved out, it was very hard for my folks! I was 25 and I only moved down the street! But it was their child leaving, no matter what it will be hard for them! Of course I think your dad is considering the financial aspects too but i think there must be a part of them that doesn't want you to leave! Money may be tough, after I bought my place, I got screwed by my employer and took a huge paycut so it was hard, sometimes groceries were onthe credit card! But I did it! Coupons are life savers! I got lots of furniture at a place here called Unclaimed Freight (3 tables for less than $100) and asked for house hold stuff for birthdays and holidays! And nowyou can have your friends over, everyone will bring something, you will only spend minimal money and enjoy the condo you worked so hard to get!

Sorry I was long winded! But I thinkyou will love it! My ex moved out this weekend and now I am trying to adjust to living alone again! I am redoing my living room, getting new furniture and all, and though I am so sad about the break up, I apprecaite the place I have. I am starting to like ordering dinner and not having to check with someone what they want. I like that I can watch TLC all day without having someone roll their eyes at me! And I llike that the dishes can sit in the sink for a bit and no one looks at me sideways! Good luck to you, I know you will find a great place and be able to make it work!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 11:09am
Hey Bennie - how are things going with all of this stuff?

Dealing with friends in business situations can be sticky. It's best to try & plan for things ahead of time - such as "If I find a great deal, I will take it, just so you know". Do you think she will be shocked/hurt/mad if you bid on this condo? She might be, or maybe she won't be at all, and will understand that you couldn't pass up the opportunity. I hope it all works out for you guys. It's terrible when business has a bad impact on friendships. Even when everyone means well, you know?

I don't think you need to offer to babysit as compensation for her lost commission. But you can just offer to babysit as a friend ;)

I agree with what you said about your parents, they probably don't want their girl to leave the nest. The main reason is probably that they will just MISS YOU! Even though you are an adult, you do provide them certain things just being there. But - we all have to leave the nest sooner or later. It will probably just take them a little while to accept it - and be more supportive. I bet after it's settled in, they will be more able to "cheerlead" for you on your endeavor.

Let us know how it's all going!

Julie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 11:09am
Don't worry about being long-winded, I'll read anything someone posts here to make myself feel better (LOL).

One clarification - I live in CT, sandwiched between Greenwich, Darien and New Cannan, CT. if I were to tell you of the prices of some homes here you would be horrified. Just for kicks I looked at high-priced condos to see why they were so high. They are on the water, a few blocks from the dump, sewage treatment plant, a bad neighborhood, scrap-metal yard and on top of that when it's low tide it smells. Now, use your imagination with the sewage treatment plan added to this description. Some days these owners can't open their windows because of the stench of this pricey neighbhorhood. Condos went for $450,000 - $500,000, one is as high ast $675,000!

I also called my accountant today to ask if reducing my monthly 401-K and IRA contributtions would hurt me tax-wise. He said no, come in and see him and we'll switch around your tax status, etc.

When my banker calls me back with the mortgage I think I'm just going to go for it. I'll sit down with my dad tonight and just talk him and myself through it and make a bid tomorrow.

I'm sitting here sweating and all I'm doing is typing. Yeesh!

Hugs and thanks,

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-14-2003 - 10:04pm
I took the plunge and made an offer on this condo. I bid $1,000 less than I think he wants but since he mentioned that he would consider taking some $$ off because of the windows (aluminum, my friends who live there had their's replaces recently but he didn't), he might take my bid. I'm still in a panic mode wondering if I will be able to afford this new lifestyle but I'm trying to stay positive.

Mentors/role models for me will now be Mary Richards from the Mary Tyler Moore show and Birdget Jones (loved that movie). Salvation Army furniture might be my new look but by hook or by crook I'm determined to make it work. Who'd a thought a year ago I was going through a major depression and worrying about ever being happy in life? Now, a year later and I'm considering moving out for the first time in my life. Not me.

I told him to sleep on it and get back to me. He can take two days, as long as he likes if it helps me to put even a few more bucks in the bank and add to my down-payment. I have a little head-ache, no doubt from stressing out for two days.

Now, if he accepts my offer the BIG question is - do I tell my realtor/friend of 20 years over the phone or in person that she won't be getting any commssion from me? That is the question. Then again, I suppose I should wait and see what his answer is before I panic over this.

One panic attack at a time.

Sign me 'Panic Ben' or wait, I can write a new chapter in my life, Bennie Jones' Diary.

(Sigh again) Hopefully I get some sleep tonight,

Cheers,

Ben

There's that new me starting to come out already.

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 9:30am
YEAH! Good for you, I hope he accepts the offer! Hey, this may sound stupid but if you ever watch those home design shows, like Trading Spaces, they always show cool ways to take salvation army or Goodwill stuff and make it look nice, you can do it! I am crossing my fingers and my toes for you. Please keep us posted!

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