Feeling very bad today

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Feeling very bad today
3
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 9:40am
So, the ex moved out over the weekend and it was so hard! Luckily, I had friends and family to help me through. Well, yesterday he was supposed to get a few more things and let the dogs out after work. That was a huge help since I had to pick my brother up from the airport, this way i wouldn't have to run home first. So, I get my brother and his family and they ask me to stay for dinner to thank me for getting them. I stay, play with my nephew a bit then head home. I get there and the dogs are manic! He never came over and let them out! So they were in the house for over 13 hours, I felt so awful! And of course since they ate so late, my little one was up wanting to play all night! So today is a bad day!

I keep setting myself up with this guy! He wants to be friends but the first time I try to count on him for something (keep in mind these are his dogs but he can't keep them now that he is moving into his parents house) he lets me down. I feel so awful! Everything seems to wrong today. I decided to dress nice for work, try to perk myself up but I just look in the mirror and am literally disgusted by what i see! I just feel awful, about everything right now! The ex is supposed to come over to spend time with me today and I don't even know if I can do it, ugh! Just a serious case of the woe-is-me's today!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 11:28am
I'm sorry you are feeling so bad today. You are going through the hardest part of it all right now, him just moving out & all. It's going to take some time to adjust. Be very happy that you have supportive friends & family - you are blessed.

Now - I'm going to just be a little tough on you here, and give my 2 cents (Julie is climbing up on her soapbox). I really think you need to spend some time away from him. Him coming over to spend time with you is just going to keep that big wound fresh & open. And the fact that he didn't come let the dogs out - well, he can't be depended on right now. Actually, he technically doesn't live there anymore, so you need to try & let him go on stuff like that.

I know being alone is hard. And lonely. And sad. But - it's also a new beginning for you!!! You will find strength you forgot you had. But you need to heal first.

I'm just giving my honest opinion here, because you have been going through so much pain lately, and you really need to put yourself #1 here & give yourself the love & care to heal.

Big hugs to you honey!

 

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 11:53am
I have been debating all day calling and telling him not to come over today. I know it is bad seeing him, but I have all these hopes, that he will see me and realize he made a mistake, all thses stupid things! We broke up once before after only dating for a few months and we didn't see each other for a few weeks. Then when we did we realized we wanted to be together, part of me still hopes for that! But the other part of me sees all his shortcomings and why he isn't good for me. I just don't feel strong enough to shut the door just yet. Iknow being single isn't a death sentence and i have done it before. But with this guy, i really never anticipated being single again, I never htought I would be alone again. It just hurts too bad right now!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 12:40pm
It will get better. I promise. I guarantee it. I know right now you are thinking " oh shut up, no it won't!!" ;)

Sit down & write down all of the things about him that you absolutely love. And then the things you absolutely DO NOT love. And then, the things you are willing to accept. Be completely & totally honest with yourself here. Don't say "oh, I can live with the fact that he has 3 eyeballs" unless you truly truly can. This might be a good exercise for you, just to clear things up a little. Who knows - you might see that your reasons for not wanting to stay with him are actually things you CAN live with. Or - you will see that you are really putting yourself #1, and are not willing to settle for less than you feel you deserve.

It just seems that you aren't really sure about what to do at this point & need a little clarity. What do your trusted friends & family say about him??

Just dont' want you to be miserable ;)