confused about LOTS of things lately....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
confused about LOTS of things lately....
3
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 1:27pm
hey everyone,

just thought i would post and see if anyone ever gets how i feel now. i just feel so confused by so many things right now. as you all know, i am moving to france in september and that is great but i am so nervous that i can't get as excited as i feel that i should be. and i also feel that i need to do so many things everyday and i get overwhelmed and don't do anything! for example: i read in magazines that you need to meditate for 30 minutes per day, another mag says that you should exercise for 30 minutes and i want to soak my feet and do the pedicure thing for 15 minutes per day plus do yoga for one hour per day and i try to read as much as possible too and keep a journal so what gives? i mean, that would suck up all of my time outside of work, plus some of my sleep time too so it is just overwhelming. however, i feel that if i don't do all of these things then i am a failure and that my life is not as "together" as it should be. i'm probably rambling and i know that i am edgy today for some reason but if anyone else feels this way, please let me know!

thanks,

wredd

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~Gandhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 4:54pm
Hi Wredd,

I know how you feel, you get all these mixed messages and it's hard to know what to believe. All I can tell you is to do what feels right to you. You have to trust your own instincts. No one can do everything these magazines tell you to do...we're not superwoman here, we're humans. If something doesn't feel good to you, then usually your gut is right. Believe me, I don't do a lot of what those articles tell you to do. I guess I feel like a lot of what is advised is often contradicted later on by someone else. That's why I just do my own thing. I think as long as you feel good mentally, physically, spiritually, etc.. then you are on the right path. I hope that makes sense.

Now about France, I just want to let you know that before I went to Spain I felt the same way. I wasn't as excited as I thought I should be. In fact, I kind of felt like not going, but now I realize it just was the anxiety talking. I think that's all that's going on with you. It's perfectly natural to be nervous, but just try to think about all the good things about going. Just think about how nice the family will be, the delicious food you'll get to try, the places you'll see, and the french people you'll meet. It's going to be an awesome experience, so think positively. I know easier said than done, but give it a try. I know you'll be just fine and you'll going to have a wonderful time there. Just trust in that, ok?

I really hope that you will take my advice and trust in yourself. I also tend to doubt myself and let my anxiety get the best of me, but I am trying to learn to believe that good things are possible for me and they are for you too.

Take care,

Andrea



By the way, I sent you an email.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 4:54pm
I can sort of relate to what you are describing. One thing you need to remind yourself is - none of those things are set in stone. You certainly don't HAVE to meditate or exercise 30 minutes each day. You do what feels right to you. Don't believe all those magazines and newspaper articles. Only a small handful of people can fit all of these things into their day and they're probably millionaires who don't have to work. They certainly aren't the average person who works, picks up the kids, runs errands and cooks dinner, etc. I'm convinced that some publications like to print these articles only to drive us CRAZY!

Since tomorrow is my condo's closing I've been consumed with all the things involved with living alone in my condo. My attorney just called and gave me the final figures of how much I need in my checking account - OUCH!

My parents keep reminding me of things whether it's planning ahead for bills, gathering kitchen items, buying new towels (the ones I use now are fine with me), but mostly all the legal and financial things.

I'm trying to think ahead to how and what I will pack - and when. Moving date is June 6, a week away.

Most of my friends are excited for me and very encouraging.

A few friends keep reminding me how I'm going to have to sacrifice a few things in life but eventually (maybe in a year?) I'll be happy and live comfortably (financially), which is driving me crazy! Do they really think I haven't thought about this yet? Do they have to keep reminding me?

On top of all of this I've made partial lists of things like calling the utilities companies. Some of the calls I've made, others, I'll get to them - eventually.

Is it any wonder I haven't been sleeping well lately? Not really.

Take a time-out from all of this and try to relax. I know, easier said than done. Last night I lay awake till almost 12:30 wondering if I should pop a sleeping pill.

Nothing is set in stone. If I can't afford to eat chicken at night there's no law a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is wrong. Don't believe all those articles, maybe you need to stop reading for a few days and try to get your thoughts and plans in order.

Hope this helped, hugs,

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 9:20am
Oh yes!! Funny, i was just thinking about some of the same things (reading all these things in magazines). The one the really gets to me: Eat berries, eat carrots, eat this, eat that - every single day. Geez - I'd spend $100 day on groceries & have to eat non-stop in order to get in all of the foods that will "make me healthy".

I say - pick one or two things that you ENJOY & do them. Meditate? I don't do it. I can't. But some people swear by it. Need a pedicure? Go get one & journal while someone else takes care of your feet ;) Or - heck, wear closed shoes..lol. Sorry - but I just totally understand where you are coming from.

France - WOW!!! Yeah, I'd be nervous too, it's a huge change. Allow yourself to be scared, nervous - and excited too. Don't worry that you have to feel any certain way, at any certain time. Just like Bennie w/her condo purchase... everyone seems to think we should feel a certain way... but at times, we won't be jumping for joy. Because no one understands what WE are going through.

We don't need this pressure on us to be super-women who do it all... but it's always there. Screw 'em!! We rock no matter if we do yoga or not.

Hugs, Julie