My depressing weekend...

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
My depressing weekend...
4
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 9:12am
I went to visit a friend of mine this weekend, her and her new hubby just bought a house. It is beautiful! Two other friends were there, one with her 3 kids and the other is planning her wedding. So it was a weekend of wedding, husband, happily ever after talk. Needless to say, I didn't participate too much inthe conversation. To make matters worse, we watched some of her wedding video and there was a scene with myex and I. If we were still together, it would have been so adorable but instead it was just depressing! I wanted to leave so bad, just go home and be alone. By the time i got home yesterday, I just curled up with my dogs and cried! I really miss my ex, even though I know he isn't the right one for me. Part of me just feels like it would be better to be in a relationship with him than to be alone! I just feel like I am destined to be single forever and I don't think I can handle that reality!

I had been doing so well, I have been having fun, doing new things, meeting new people but this weekend was a huge setback! Just need to vent, feeling sad on this sunny Monday!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 9:29am
Ohh, I wish I could reach out & give you a real hug! That had to be so tough. I'm sorry..... you are one tough cookie to stick it out. Going home & crying with your doggies, well - I am glad you did that. Holding it in sucks.

You're in a tough spot right now. Can I tell you how many times I have felt EXACTLY the same way you do? I have broken up with guys in the past who I knew were totally wrong for me. But then after feeling lonely, I would hook up with them, trying to convince myself that they weren't "that bad" after all. Because I didn't want to be alone. Sigh.... I think we all do that.

You know in your heart what is right for you. What you are feeling is so normal & natural...

I hope your week is great, and you are able to feel better as this past weekend gets farther & farther away from you.

Hugs, Julie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 1:57pm
I can certainly relate to you on this topic. The same thing happens to me from time to time. Since a few of my friends's marriages are not ideal in my mind it doesn't bum me out that much but other days it does make me feel depressed. The only thing I can tell myself and you is that the time just isn't right for us - yet. When the time is right then all of that magic will happen to us just like it happened for our friends.

Try to think of the positives in your life and the negatives in their lives. Kids can be nice but also expensive, you worry about them, you have less time for yourself and think about when they hit around age 10-12 - you would have to work on math fractions homework. I sucked at that so I shudder to think of myself helping out a kid with their math homwork.

Marriage - you could get stuck with rotten in-laws (I know a few friends who can't stand their in-laws - they are nuts!). You would have to spend holidays with them, smile and suck it up.

I could go on but I won't. Try to count the blessings in your life and see if they add up to more than your friend's 'appearance' of happy lives.

Hugs,

Ben

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Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 2:35pm
You know whatthe funny thing is...my friend who recently got married, well we all worry about them, not sure they are right for each other and I don't think thier relationship is healthy! My other friend with the 3 kids, sheloves it but so not for me, 2 would be myupperl imit I think! And my ex, well the best thing about breaking up with him was not having to ever deal with his mom again, she was a handful to deal with! So you are right, on the surface, these other women may haveit al but when you go a bit deeper, a nice house, a fancy ring and Mrs before your name don't equal happiness! Thanks Ben, you helped my perspective a lot!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 4:56pm
No problem, glad I could help - Dr. Ben on the job. Now, that will be $95 but for you I'll only charge you the $15 co-pay. (GRIN)

Really, that's what we all have to do, think a little bit further than what's on the surface. I should start to take my own advice.

Hugs,

Ben

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