New Member

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
New Member
2
Mon, 06-02-2003 - 7:17pm
I am new to the message board. I need some advice and support. I have been dealing with self-esteem issues all my life. I grew up in an abusive household. Constantly being told I was worth nothing and how I was to blame for everyone’s unhappiness. I now struggle to deal with my anger and pain of a missed childhood. My self-esteem isn’t as low as it used to be but its bad enough to affect every relationship I have (professionally, friends and more). I am trying to change my outlook on life but I am getting very frustrated with how hard it is. I started to see a counselor and he is helpful but I think I need more than that. I am too ashamed to talk to my friends, as it is very hard for me to even admit my problems to strangers. I was hoping someone out there could help me with some advice and support. My fear is I will never get “better” or even feel better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
In reply to: dinomyte
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 9:10am
Hi and welcome,

Stick with your therapist. I'v been seeing one for a little over a year now and I'm finally feeling a little better about myself. It's not an overnight transition, if only it were that easy. I didn't come from an abusive family but my mom and other people made subtle comments that I took VERY personal and in turn brainwashed myself into feeling like a failure, disappointment, etc.

Come back and visit us and post any questions or problems. We'll be happy to help you out.

Hugs,

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: dinomyte
Tue, 06-03-2003 - 9:20am
Hello and welcome to the board (love your screen-name, by the way :)

I'm going to have to agree with Bennie - stick with your therapist - as long as you like him, etc. I know it's really hard to tell a complete stranger all of those personal things about you - but don't worry, he won't judge you. (Well - if he does - fire him!) But seriously - try to allow yourself to open up more & more. He should make you feel comfortable enough to do that over time. Be sure to let him know that it is very hard for you to do.

I had a totally messed up childhood (though mostly by my own hand...being a "wild child") and it has defintely affected me as an adult. I'm really sorry to hear how you were treated as a child. But now you are ready to help yourself out. You've just started on it - so give youself plenty of time. Don't give up... I know I felt like I would never be "normal" after so many years. But over the course of about a year w/a good therapist (and medication, in my situation).... I was able to change how I think & feel about many different things.

Anyway - I am very glad you found us - we are here for you, and look forward to getting to know you :)

Hugs, Julie