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|Mon, 06-23-2003 - 7:28am|
I'd like to share my story, I realize that it might be long-sorry!
I'm Cynthia, 24, and have recently moved in with my BF. The last weeks I've started to feel down. Not really depressed, but I'm not the one I used to be. Smiling takes me effort, while it used to be a daily thing... I've felt like this before, about 2 years ago, but then the breakup with my ex-fiancee resolved most of the problems.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but I don't feel like who I want to be. My study is suffering, I feel I'm not able to do it. But objectively I should be, I've passed many exams already without much effort. Everything I have to do is a big big mountain to climb. I feel I'm on the edge of depression, and since I really don't want that to happen to me, I'm looking for some support here.
I used to be (as a kid) really self-confident, active. Now I feel I only can think of things I don't like about myself. You want to know what? I feel: incompetent, chaotic, lazy, not a person who pushes herself to finish something that is not very easy to do, stupid, out of control. I could go on and on.
There are two things that worry me: I'm so afraid that if I don't cheer up soon my bf will say goodbye to me (although he has assured me he will always love me, no matter what). The other thing is my study. I'm quite close to getting my masters, but feeling so incompetent to go the last bit.
Please, can you help?