feeling useless

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2003
feeling useless
Fri, 06-27-2003 - 6:35pm
I need to know if I am too messed up or worth saving. I have been married for 12 years, but I don't feel loved. I don't know if it is me or him. I have been having trouble lately feeling this way. It hurts because he is the only man I have ever kissed in my life and the only man I have been with. The only man I have ever had a date with. In school I was the weird girl and nobody wanted anything to do with me. No boy ever payed any attention to me. I meet my husband my senior year of high school and we married after I graduated from college. I am old enough to be past all of this, but I still think I missed out on things. I have never felt desirable to anyone really. How do I get passed these feelings and move on with life and why do I feel the need to be wanted?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 10:55am
Oh honey, welcome to the board! I'm sorry you had to wait for a reply for so long... things have been quiet around here - and I was unable to get online all weekend.

Well, I think it's great that you have found love w/someone special!

Honestly, I think it's totally natural to sometimes wonder about what you may have "missed out on".

The issue that needs to be addressed is that you said you don't feel loved. How so? I mean, does your hubby give you what you need in your relationship? You don't mention any problems with him being distant, or cold, etc. So - try to explore exactly what it is that is making you not feel loved. And you may need to sit him down & talk to him about it too.. if you feel that he is not giving you something you need.

Please feel free to tell us more, if you wish... we'd love to try & help.

Hugs, Julie