I'm pretty bummed out today....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I'm pretty bummed out today....
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 9:18am
And I am probably going to be a bit of a mess for a while.. just thought I'd better give fair warning.

I think it's time for BF to go. I tried to ask him about the whole Sunday situation w/his friend coming over when I asked him not to - and he pretty much told me that I HAVE A PROBLEM. arrrgggghhhhhhhhH!!!!!!!! I am so frustrated, and mad, and sad, and....

I told him that he was being very selfish - and then he got all mad, didn't talk to me for the rest of the night, no kiss goodnight, etc. This a.m. he said "we need to have a talk tonight". He's right - a talk about him either getting a brain transplant, or about him moving out.

I can't let him keep turning stuff around on me. And I know that's what he is going to do tonight. He's going to tell me that I have a problem with his friend, etc.... and that I'm selfish, etc. It's going to take all of my willpower to not throw a chair at him.... I already know he is going to tick me off.

Anyway - I'll let you know what happens tonight. I'm just so nervous about how my life will change now.. and the dog, etc.

Thanks yet AGAIN for listening :)

Hugs, Julie

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 9:59am
Sweetie, I know exactly how you feel! My ex would turn everything around on me! He would be drunk and flirting up a storm in a bar with strangers and I was the one with the problem! And I let him manipulate me like that (yes, it is manipulation). I doubted who I was and how I behaved when it was him with the problem! Your bf disregarded your feelings, period, end of story! You did nothing wrong so don't fell that you did. And if you were selfish and had a problem, you would have gone off abou tit when his friend was there, not try to talk to him in an adult manner when you were alone with him.

In the time I have been on this board, you have been nothing but supportive and caring! I wish you weren't going through this but know we are here to help you! Maybe talking to him will bring about a change, maybe not, but you need to do what is best for you! There will be cahnges but some of them will be just amazing and make you appreciate life that much more! As for your dog, fight to keep it! My ex actually had the nerve to say he was giving the older dog to a friend and would find someone to take our little guy cause ex had to move back with mommy (more proof he wasn't a man). No way, i kept my furry friends and take very good care of them, they have been my constant source of support, so fight for your pooch!

Hugs to you and let us know what we can do to help you sweetie!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 10:10am
I'm so sorry to hear you might be having the BIG TALK tonight. Stand your ground, don't let him put a guilt trip on you. It will be difficult but it sounds like you have to start being selfish and think of yourself first. Isn't that what your BF is doing to you? Not that it's selfish to think of yourself but in this case your BF may make you think you are being selfish. If he implies you are being selfish turn it around and say, 'yes, I am going to be selfish this time since you aren't thinking about me.'

(Did I use the word selfish enough - LOL)

Stick up for yourself and your dog. Didn't you mention that your BF has been working so much OT that you are the only one who has been walking your dog and taking care of him/her? Pount that out if he tries to take your dog away from you.

Good luck, I'm sure that whatever happens will happen for a reason.



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